And I have to talk to her about some things.
We've been together for a little over a year and she knows a lot about me, but there's a couple things that I need, and I'm afraid because I don't know how to do it.
Two of the biggest problems I've been having are interwoven and inseperable, and they both deal with my body. I feel, and have felt for my entire life, transgendered. I know that she has told me that she is bisexual (as am I...basically we've acknowledged that we could really be attracted to anyone) but I'm afraid to let her know this.
The other is that I feel very scared about my own body, and I would like her to help me to not be so scared about everything. I would like to be able to heal from my past painful experiences.
The fortunate thing is she is much more free and comfortable than I am with many things. She also doesn't get as scared as I do.
The bad news is that I don't really know what to do or how to talk to her.
I'm not really sure what I'm asking for, I'm very confused and I need some support but in Real Life she's the only one I have to rely on...
"When I was a little kid, my mother told me not to stare into the sun, so when I was six I did..."
I dont know what to say that might be of any help, but i do believe that telling her is the right decision and i wish you the very best of luck in doing so.
i am terribly sorry i cant offer any advice,
let me know how it goes.
Alys xxx
If only you'd ever speak to me
the way you once did
look at me the way you once did
pull to me the way you once did
but you don't
you don't feel anymore
you don't care anymore
it's all gone
it's all gone
Well, I've talked to her about both things, but I've just sort of hinted at the transgendered bit. I've told her I feel feminine but I haven't actually told her that I feel miserable as a male.
In terms of "have I talked to her yet", she's coming over on Thursday and I hope to talk to her sometime this weekend.
I'm just really anxious about all of this because it seems like every single bit of my life is conspiring against me. Honestly, I would love to be able to have SRS and SRT, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to because I can't rely at all on my family...it's gotta just be me.
I'm just very sad and confused and I wish she was here already...
"When I was a little kid, my mother told me not to stare into the sun, so when I was six I did..."
I think you need to sit down and discuss it with her. Otherwise these things can fester and boil over to the point where it becomes too much. To not tell her about whats troubling you is to not respect the relationship you have with her, and to ignore your own identity as well. Surely if you have been with eachother for so long, and have such an open relationship, she will be more than accepting, and it will certainly lighten the load on you.
I suggest you sit her down and have a frank and open chat about things. It could be a great way to heal and to bond for both of you. Get it all out in the open about how you feel, and if she is a good girlfriend it wont bother her at all, because she should love you for you, not for your gender identity. Thats what I reckon anyways...
