Alcohol + bad thoughts

[Cillian]

Hi everyone, I don't really know how to explain my problem without rambling on for several pages.
To keep it short: my home life isn't going so great. My father and I have been struggling since I can remember. I admit that i might be oversensitive but the way he's been treating me has completely eliminated my self-esteem. I will be moving out in the upcoming weeks anyway but I don't know how to cope NOW. I'm constantly stressed out and anxious, can't calm down. I can't explain how I feel. It's like... this deep, raw pulsating pain in my chest and whenever something happens or someone says something I can feel it spread through my body like poison. And it hurts like hell. Sometimes I try to drown it out with alcohol, sometimes I imagine really bad things I want to do to myself. Quite graphic things.
I want to feel normal again but how?

[nonperson]

Hey, I'm sorry you're struggling. That is good news you're moving out soon though - do you think that you'll be able to move beyond these feelings once that happens?


In the meantime it sounds like you need to find something to relax yourself (without the use of alcohol), maybe mindfulness or breathing techniques? Or going for a walk or a run to expel some of that stress?