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Old 12-03-2019, 02:56 PM   #21
Eska
 
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I saw psychiatric liaison. The guy said he will discuss me with the team and see me again tomorrow :/ So doesn't sound like I'm going anywhere too soon.

Still no sign of the medical doctors.

I feel guilty for being here.





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Old 12-03-2019, 02:58 PM   #22
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So much waiting. I hope they can figure out something that will be of benefit to you.

What's making you feel guilty?





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Old 12-03-2019, 03:01 PM   #23
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I feel guilty for taking up a bed when I'm physically fine now, I just need the doctors to agree that. And for taking up resources generally. And for not being in work. For not handling things better. For making people worry.





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Old 12-03-2019, 06:39 PM   #24
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None of those things are your fault though, and would you judge someone else so harshly? You deserve support when you are struggling and also to try and prevent further struggles as much as possible. I know those feelings you are describing and that they are hard to let go of. I'm sure other people don't place any blame on you. I will hold on to the fact that you deserve support, until you can hold it yourself.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 12-03-2019, 10:32 PM   #25
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I don't think I'm being that harsh on myself? Last time I was in this situation I was discharged pretty much straight off, which I think is partly why still being in is so confusing.

I keep trying to second guess what psychiatric liaison might have to say tomorrow. I have no idea what it might be.





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Old 13-03-2019, 12:31 PM   #26
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Just saw psych liaison. The plan is for me to go home and them to contact the CMHT to see if they can give me more support in the community. Still need the medical doctors to give me the all clear to leave though.





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Old 13-03-2019, 02:16 PM   #27
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Is that plan ok with you?





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Old 13-03-2019, 02:27 PM   #28
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I don't know. I feel like it would be so easy for the same thing to happen again. It's frustrating/upsetting? that it's taken so long just to get to this point when it could all have been decided on Sunday and I could have been allowed home then or on Monday. But at the same time I'm scared to go home at all. I don't know.





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Old 13-03-2019, 02:30 PM   #29
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I think I can understand those mixed feelings. Were you honest with psych? Are you still in hospital at the moment?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 13-03-2019, 02:34 PM   #30
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I was honest but I don't know if I got across the risk I feel.

I'm still in hospital. Need one of the trauma doctors to see me before I can be discharged, unless I go ahead and discharge myself (which I am tempted to do because at this point I'm just taking up a bed for no reason).





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Old 13-03-2019, 02:37 PM   #31
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Would you consider mentioning to a nurse or the doctor when they come that you feel like you're more of a risk than you managed to communicate to psych? Maybe they could see you again if it's needed.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 13-03-2019, 02:44 PM   #32
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I said to (well, cried at) a nurse that I'm scared and she said we would take it one step at a time. I'd feel bad for taking up more of their time, especially if it then meant more input from the mental health side too.





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Old 13-03-2019, 05:48 PM   #33
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Let them decide how to spend their time, you do deserve it. I'm glad you spoke to a nurse.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 13-03-2019, 05:49 PM   #34
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I've been discharged. I'm on the bus back.





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Old 13-03-2019, 05:56 PM   #35
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How are you feeling? Has support been arranged? Take things as they come, as the nurse said one step at a time.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 13-03-2019, 05:58 PM   #36
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I'm feeling fine but at the same time like I am probably going to hurt myself again. I'm meeting a friend so ai'll have some company this evening but I don't know about tomorrow. I don't know what support has been/is being lined up.





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Old 13-03-2019, 06:03 PM   #37
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Will you be able to talk to your friend about how you're feeling? Try not to worry too much about what might happen or what you need to be doing, but it would be good if you could arrange some things that will help you to get through the next while as easily as possible.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 14-03-2019, 07:04 PM   #38
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Today has actually been ok. I'm going back to work tomorrow, then I'm off on annual leave next week. I was going to go and see my parents Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday but I have an appointment on Tuesday now to get stitches out so that plan is out.





It's a long way down
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Old 15-03-2019, 03:14 PM   #39
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I'm glad yesterday was ok. How has work been today?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 15-03-2019, 03:18 PM   #40
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Work is fine, nothing has got wildly out of control while I've been away which is always good. I'm having a relatively chilled day of it right now. I do have my return to work interview in a bit though :/ It's with a colleague who kind of knows a bit of what's been going on (my managers are based at a different site). He is lovely but I'm feeling pretty tense about it right now.





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