Possibly Triggering - finding your way

blueskies and butterflies · 28-05-2009, 02:06 PM

hello my name is fallen star, for years i have been depressed, last year it got out of control and i turned to self harm, and straving myself.. i attempted suicide twice, then i decided to get help and i got for 2 years theraphy and its only the last few months.. that i noticed it started to work. The thing is that at the moment, i'm in a really good place, there is no grey cloud hanging over my head, even tho is still dark there are stars in the sky at night, and i feel that things are starting to fall into place. What bothering me is that, i'm feel happy at the moment, not used to this feeling at all.. i'm afraid to stay happy, incase something happens that get rids of these great feelings.. But i have worked so hard to battle my depression, it really was a up hill battle, i'm afraid to enjoy this feeling of happiness, beacuse i really like feeling happy and bubbly, and i don't want to lose this feeling. I was just wondering should i go back to old ways bottle up my emotions, bring back my depression, or should i just go with the flow, focus on being positive.. i still really miss self harm and get very strong urges.. i just feel a bit lost, and i decided to write this thread, to ask if anybody else has felt this way before.. k wel that about it. Thanks for listening!

blueskies and butterflies · 28-05-2009, 02:09 PM

remember just because its dark now, doesn't mean it will stay that way,the sun will eventually have to rise

crazykat · 28-05-2009, 02:22 PM

Thanks for sharing, I am glad you are in a more better and positive place

Katiee · 28-05-2009, 04:42 PM

Awhhh (: xo.

blueskies and butterflies · 29-05-2009, 10:59 AM

hey people just want to say thanks for commenting, and for the hugs :D

29-05-2009, 04:46 PM

Well done for being so positive! Habits like self harm will seem comforting but once you fight against them you feel so amazing and that you can do anything.

blueskies and butterflies · 08-06-2009, 07:56 PM

thank you i have been feeling a lot stronger and developed high self esteem since i quit self harm.. no cutting for a year.. the summer is here and now i can wear dresses and shorts.. and i haven't been able to do that in a long time.. and my friends are starting to talk to me, they just stayed clear of me, when i was having my breakdown.. it only made me feel more alone.. I feel people who are depressed, they don't need to be judged, they need support, advice and encourage.. and a little bit of understanding.. its not a lot to ask.. k wel take care..