Hello. I understand being upset and traumatized by the events you went through. However, it's important to leave past in the past and don't let it haunt your present. The whole ordeal you went through is over and done with. Those people can't hurt you anymore. You are going to be okay. Please, remember it. Your co-workers were mean to you and what they did wasn't fair. You sound like a hard-working and dilligent person and people like you are really important at every job. Don't let their insults get to you, they are just grown up bullies. You're doing very well. You are a good worker. You've just been treated unfairly, possibly, because you just didn't fit in with the others somehow. If those people didn't give you a chance - it's their loss. You're out to have a better life. I see you went through a lot, and I'm really sorry. Well done for leaving that job and starting your life over! Now things are going to be okay. I understand being upset by the past though. Just remember it's over, done, and things are going to get better. You don't have to forgive those people, but for your own sake - it's best to forget them. You can find real friend who will treat you well. You're a good person.
I wonder if you have to see those people again at work? Do you have to interact with them, or can you just avoid and ignore them?
Please, don't assume they still badmouth you. I understand that your past experiences may tell you otherwise, but it's pretty probable that they don't. I get being anxious about people talking behind your back, but I can tell you from experience that most of the time it's just not true. People are just way too concerned with themselves and their own lives to still badmouth you. Unless there's evidence they're mad at you for some reason, I think there's no reason to worry. But if you feel like you can't really stop being anxious about it, how about talking to a professional and asking them for help? Do you have any professional support?
I don't think you're paranoid at all. What you went through is traumatic and it's understandable that you're anxious now. I'm sorry I can't provide any better advice for you, but I wish you luck!
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