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Old 20-09-2018, 04:15 PM   #41
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I am controlling my food but I don't feel in control and I think some voices are coming back.

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Old 20-09-2018, 07:55 PM   #42
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I know I need to eat more or my meds won't work as well. But I am really scared.

Edit
I texted my CPN


Last edited by tamobhuuta : 20-09-2018 at 09:05 PM. Reason: News
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Old 22-09-2018, 01:10 PM   #43
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did your cpn reply?

re eating more, would it help to eat little and often rather than trying to eat what feels like big meals? i know you said about keeping a food diary, could you tweak that and plan what you're going to eat when? hopefully you'd feel more in control




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Old 22-09-2018, 02:35 PM   #44
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I will think about doing that.

I didn't get a reply. He must have had a busy day.

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Old 24-09-2018, 03:26 PM   #45
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I saw my psychologist just now and the Man came back which wasn't very nice. The psychologist noticed I was struggling and suggested we have a pause but I decided to power through. It felt so real it is hard to remind myself that he isn't real, just a voice.

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Old 24-09-2018, 07:00 PM   #46
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Well done for carrying on with the session, that's really great. Don't let the Man get in the way of things for you. You are trying so hard and I know it feels very real to you when you hear the voice but keep challenging it. It sounds like your psychologist is quite supportive too.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 25-09-2018, 11:25 AM   #47
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She is very good, she helps me see things differently.

I texted my CPN last week and he didn't get back to me. When is it OK to text him again? Also I don't think I can cope with a phone conversation so maybe it would be better not to say anything?

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Old 25-09-2018, 12:46 PM   #48
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I think it would probably be ok to text and just say that you text last week but didn't get a reply and also that you don't feel up to a phone conversation. Maybe he will be able to have a conversation via text or face to face if that's any easier.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 25-09-2018, 07:31 PM   #49
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I did text him and he replied, just encouraging me, saying take it gradually.

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Old 25-09-2018, 07:33 PM   #50
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Was that helpful?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 25-09-2018, 08:44 PM   #51
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A bit.

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Old 27-09-2018, 01:44 PM   #52
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What if the voices are right and there is an implant in my neck?

Maybe I should make a little cut, just to see if there's something there?


Last edited by tamobhuuta : 27-09-2018 at 05:41 PM. Reason: Add a bit
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Old 28-09-2018, 03:11 PM   #53
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How did you get through yesterday? How are you today? I don't think you should make any cuts, you've been through this before and nothing has been achieved. You are doing great with fighting this stuff and I'd hate to see you go backwards. You're bound to have times when you question things again but stay strong and share your thoughts and feelings with people you trust.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 28-09-2018, 05:07 PM   #54
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I got through ok. Talked to my mum and had some PRN. I also made a list of reasons not to act on the thoughts. Today has been less stressful but I have had little worries about being poisoned or controlled.

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Old 11-10-2018, 06:57 PM   #55
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I am really really tempted to cut my neck. Just to see, you know?

Why am I here again?

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Old 11-10-2018, 08:51 PM   #56
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I think that you might come back to these thoughts many times unfortunately but you can use different ways to deal with them than you have in the past. How are you going to cope tonight?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 12-10-2018, 11:53 AM   #57
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I watched a film. Then I went to the kitchen to find the right knife but didn't find it. I found it just now.

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Old 12-10-2018, 06:50 PM   #58
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I texted my CPN because I wasn't sure. He told my mum but I don't think he told her about the knife. I have put it back because I don't think I can do anything today or tomorrow and I don't want my parents to miss it, they would guess I had it.

My CPN also said that trying to cut out the implant would count as MORE than self injury. Like, seriously?

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Old 12-10-2018, 10:39 PM   #59
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I am glad that you have not cut so far. Well done even though it's hard because of the voices. You totally did the right thing by putting the knife back.



Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
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Old 13-10-2018, 03:44 PM   #60
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How can I pursuade people that I can do this safely, that it's self protection not self injury?

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