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Old 11-01-2008, 04:18 AM   #1
meller111's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2007
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help for a friend please

ok, so one of my best friends is bipolar and suicidal. she has really bad depression and shes just very up and down. i love her tho, shes crazy and funny and when everrything good its awesome.
but her hole boyfriend just broke up with her online in the meanest way and he like went away for a week, and now hes back and this is what happens so obv shes not thinking the best.
i know she started cutting tonight
idont know what to say or how to say anyhitng to her, and i want to comfort her, i keep trying to get her to talk to me, but i want to know what would be good to say.
this would probably apply for tommorow, i dont know if she'll pick up the phone again tonight

i want to be there for her, but not in her face, but able to help her too.
shes on medication but not trying to recover.
please, any thing, stuff that is helpful to hear i owuld appreciate.

im worried. :(



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Old 11-01-2008, 04:55 PM   #2
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You sound like a very caring friend, I'm sure your friend really appreciates all your help. I have also been very luck and had a very caring friend, and what helped me the most was that she was never judgemental. She never said to me "Why did you do such a stupid thing?" or had a go at me for self harming.
Maybe ask your friend if she needs help with anything, such as needing dressings for her injuries or if she needs you to accompany her to Casualty or the Doctors. Just offering can be enough because at least she won't feel alone. My friend, very kindly, offered me a lot of practical support - like helping me with my washing and cleaning because I found this hard when my injuries were pretty bad.
Offer your support but as the above replier said, don't push it too much. In time she will open up to you if she feels safe enough too - not that it's a reflection on you, it has to come from within her. Sometimes, a good thing would be to just put on a movie and spend sometime together so she doesn't feel alone but the conversation isn't heavy for either of you. Despite her illness, your friend is still your friend and it's nice to have "normal" time together rather than everything being centered around an illness. You need quality time together for both your sakes =)
I think it's also important that you look after yourself. If you are finding it difficult to deal with her behaviour then maybe you need to take a step back and you certainly need to talk to somebody you trust - such as a parent or friend. Your friend wouldn't want you to suffer and you aren't betraying her trust by talking to someone about the difficulties you are facing.

Lotti x

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Old 11-01-2008, 11:44 PM   #3
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<33 thanks a lot guys. you really did help.
i'm taking her to a party tonight, so you she can relax and not be so worried.
They should be ok now, but i definitely appreciate all the advice.
She knows i'm here now, and thats what i wanted. <333
take care



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Old 12-01-2008, 12:03 AM   #4
Join Date: Jan 2008

Hi I just wanted to say that you sound like a fantastic friend and I am sure that she knows that you are there for her. I hope she is feeling better now and I am glad she has a friend like you to help her through the dark times. Good luck to you both

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