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Old 15-07-2019, 06:58 PM   #1
The Worst Witch
 
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Homophobic abuse causing suicidal feelings

Hi.
Currently I am having problems with a group of teenagers who think it’s funny/amusing to scream homophobic abuse at me. The most recent incident was on Friday, I was sitting on the bus minding my own business and a teenage boy whispered “fucking lesbians, you’re disgusting” at me. I informed the driver of the incident, and the teenagers were thrown off the bus in the middle of the motorway and told the police would be informed.
The police came to my house and informed me that what the teenage boy said was not a crime (it is) and that they weren’t going to do anything about it.

I’m at a loss. There are posters EVERYWHERE saying that police don’t tolerate homophobic/transphobic/any kind of abuse, yet they’re doing fuck all about it. Any advice?

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Old 15-07-2019, 07:05 PM   #2
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It is hate crime, as you know. I would report it separately via hate crime reporting.

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Old 15-07-2019, 10:25 PM   #3
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Can you contact any LGBTQ advocacy organizations to see if there's any resources they can recommend?

That's awful and you should not have to deal with that. I'm really sorry. <3



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Old 16-07-2019, 01:18 AM   #4
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No practical bedding but think the others' gave you brill advice.The key point is You Are Not Al0ne.

Private message meif youwant



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Old 16-07-2019, 01:23 AM   #5
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Its sad this is still happening in 2019, but it is. Sorry you had to go through that. Know you're not alone. Words do hurt.

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Old 16-07-2019, 07:35 AM   #6
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Thank you for the replies.

I’m being put in touch victim support, I’ve seen them before because the abuse has actually been going on for two years, on and off. It seems to happen in cycles, the first lot of teenagers that were giving me hassle were prosecuted under stalking law after they kept walking past my house and shouting abuse or following me around the street/shops and laughing. Those teenagers stopped after their parents FINALLY realised they weren’t little angels like they were making out, but there’s a new gang taking up the cause of giving the lesbians abuse.

A complaint has also been made about how the police handled the recent event on Friday. I’m supposed to be moving, I was on the council list but they’re dragging their feet saying I don’t meet the needs to be moved despite having evidence in the form of 4 different letters from professionals and my MP being on the case. My partner handed those in weeks ago and they’re still dragging their feet.

I’m just fed up. It feels like either of us can’t leave the house, my partner is especially isolated. I just want to live my life - they might think it’s funny but it’s making life more difficult than it needs to be and it’s just shit.

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Old 16-07-2019, 10:14 AM   #7
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That's really awful, I'm sorry you're experiencing this and the police and housing etc aren't being particularly helpful. Have you spoken directly to someone from housing?





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Old 16-07-2019, 04:58 PM   #8
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You don't deserve this, and you have every right to feel fed up and angry. Being treated like that isn't okay. I can only imagine how hard it must be not just to put up with the abuse, but to also continue to advocate for yourself and your partner's needs, despite the lack of support. It sounds like you're trying immensely hard.

Do you and/or your partner have any outside support?



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Old 22-07-2019, 06:42 PM   #9
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My partner has a occupational therapist, a psychotherapist and her doctor (that’s who the letters came from). When I’m back at college I’ll have my support worker, Alex, but he’s attached to the college so I can only see him during term time. He’s actually a really nice bloke, he makes me laugh and he’s been supportive about my mum too (she died in October 2017).

My partner speaks to housing at least every week, the latest is that they’ve turned down our application but they haven’t had anything from our MP yet. They’ve also referred us to the community safety team, who (as I understand it) issue ASBOs/advocate for people. As my partner pointed out though,, how can they issue ASBOS/mediate if it’s pretty much our whole town?

I’m just stressed. I go back to college in a few weeks, I deferred last year (my own fault) so I need to make sure this year goes well.

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Old 22-07-2019, 06:50 PM   #10
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This all sounds really overwhelming. I know when I had terrible neighbours it affected me so badly. Do you know if any of the letters that were sent to housing explicitly spoke about your suicidal feelings while living in your current area? When someone wrote to housing for me I think they included that which might have helped since I did end up getting more points although it also could have been due to other factors.

Do you think your support worker will be able to help you through this year of college? I can understand your stress and anxiety. I hope it goes well.





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Old 22-07-2019, 08:04 PM   #11
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Yes, the letters that were sent to housing specifically mention suicidal feelings. They also mention every reported incident of abuse by these local teenagers for the last two years - some of them don’t include me as I’ve only been living with my partner since November 2017. However, the woman from the council who rejected our application has children who are involved in the abuse, so that’ll be interesting to tell my partners occupational therapist tomorrow.

Yes, I think so. He was extremely helpful last year, I talked to him mostly about my mum but he did have some ideas regarding the abuse we’re suffering. It felt like he actually cared, and he cheered me up with stories about his (not so now) newborn son.

I had a chat with my sister about it today, it helped getting it all out but she too is at a bit of a loss. All she could really do was remind me that I’m loved, to keep going and to try and remember that being homophobic pricks (her words) says more about them than it does about us. That may be true, but sometimes easier said than done.


Last edited by The Worst Witch : 22-07-2019 at 08:10 PM.
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Old 23-07-2019, 11:19 AM   #12
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I'm sorry you're having to go through so much crap. I'm glad you managed to speak to your sister despite it not changing anything big. It is really hard to focus on good relationships etc when you are being harassed.

It doesn't sound right at all that the woman from the council who has children who are involved in the abuse is part of the housing process. Is there a way you can highlight this?

Take care.





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Old 23-07-2019, 05:06 PM   #13
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Yeah, the police came round today to try and sort things out after we made a complaint to the council. They said they’d advocate for us to move but I won’t hold my breath it’ll make any difference.

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Old 23-07-2019, 06:52 PM   #14
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I really hope something positive does come of this, you deserve a break. How are you getting on today?





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Old 23-07-2019, 08:34 PM   #15
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The complaint worked. We’ll be moved as soon as a suitable property comes up. I ca’t believe it.

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Old 23-07-2019, 09:43 PM   #16
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That's wonderful news.

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Old 24-07-2019, 01:50 PM   #17
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That's great! I'm really pleased for you. I hope something comes up quickly and it suits you. How are you feeling?





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Old 25-07-2019, 07:39 AM   #18
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I’m feeling good about it. Hopefully we’ll be moved somewhere away from kids (we did put that on our form) and can settle a bit.

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Old 25-07-2019, 04:11 PM   #19
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That would be good. I hope they come through for you. You deserve a safe place to live and to feel safe in your own home.



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This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 26-07-2019, 12:22 AM   #20
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Very glad for you :)



'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'

[''There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']

'I wish I was the monster you think I am.'


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