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Old 16-02-2020, 06:24 PM   #1
The Worst Witch
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Scotland
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My grandad is dying

I didn't want to make a thread, but I'm struggling. My grandad broke his hip in a fall a few weeks ago and had to go into hospital for an operation to fix it. The operation went well and he came out of hospital after a few days, but because of his age there have been some complications. He was sent back to hospital on Thursday night after needing some fluids, and they've basically now told us we've to prepare for the worst. They won't let him home to the nursing home he lives in because they can't deal with drips. He's comfortable, which is the main thing but I'm so sad. Things that I'm worried about him dying (apart from the obvious) include:
  1. Having to deal with my dad wanting the interitance I'll get (my mum's share will go to me, my brother and my sister equally)
  2. My grief being as bad as it was when my mum died, I'm still not 100% over it
  3. My last link with my mum being gone
I know nobody can really give any advice (and my partner has already talked to me about it and made me feel better), but some hugs would be appreciated.

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Old 16-02-2020, 06:58 PM   #2
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Join Date: Sep 2017
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I'm really sorry. This is understandably really difficult so I'm glad you have your partner to talk to. *big hugs*

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Old 16-02-2020, 07:13 PM   #3
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I'm sorry to hear this, you must be devastated. Sending lots of hugs.

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Old 16-02-2020, 07:18 PM   #4
Join Date: Nov 2019

What an awful sad and difficult time for you. I can sympathise with your situation having dealt with such things personally. I know it can bring out a myriad of thoughts and feelings in everyone concerned but you have to focus on you right now. The inheritance is yours and I would suggest taking advice to protect it. You mustn’t feel pressured to hand it over to your father unless it is your own decision.

As soon as it is practicable I would advise you seek counselling to help you deal with your grandfather’s and also your mother’s death.

Be kind and gentle to yourself and please feel free to talk to me if it will help at all. I really do understand.

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Old 16-02-2020, 09:37 PM   #5
Straight 3
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I'm sorry to hear this.

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Old 17-02-2020, 01:53 AM   #6
The Worst Witch
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Thanks for the hugs.

My brother has agreed to take me to see him tomorrow (he can drive, I can’t). I have to wait until he finishes work so I won’t be going until evening visiting times. Not sure what to do with myself during the day.

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Old Today, 09:44 AM   #7
Never knowing...a helping hand or hell to pay?
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: UK
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I’m sorry to hear you are going through this that sounds so isolating and confusing and grief is just the worst emotion. Would it be possible to inquire into other care homes which may be willing to do the drip? Or possibly see if something could be arranged with district nurses to pop into the home, set up the drip and and stop it.

It sounds like a very difficult family situation, it’s a shame to hear that your father is making things more challenging,

That’s all I have to say right now other than I read I care and I’m sorry it’s take. Me a while to spot this and reply.

'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'

['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']

'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter

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