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Old 18-05-2019, 06:52 PM   #541
chinahorse
 
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I'm too tired to fight myself anymore.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


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Old 18-05-2019, 07:13 PM   #542
one_step_closer
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People are offering you help, I know it's not going to make you feel amazing and 100% better etc but it's a start. Being kind to yourself would be much better for you than fighting yourself but I understand how hard that can be too. If there's something you think you need please try and let someone know.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 18-05-2019, 09:31 PM   #543
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Why is everyone angry with me?



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Old 18-05-2019, 09:35 PM   #544
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Have people said they are angry with you?

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Old 18-05-2019, 09:50 PM   #545
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People have implied it. The registrar on the ward told me to stop wasting time and get a hobby outside of work. The consultant said he needs my bed and is sending me home tonight. I've been honest. I've said I will probably do it again.



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Old 18-05-2019, 10:12 PM   #546
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It's not that they're angry, it's that they don't understand. Are you still seeing HTT?

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Old 18-05-2019, 10:17 PM   #547
chinahorse
 
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They seemed angry. The triage nurse in a and e seemed angry. People keep telling me I don't want to die but I change between wanting to and not wanting to and no one understands how horrible that is. I feel so horribly alone.

Yeah am seeing htt tomorrow morning. Tempted to ring them now. I feel hideous and like I can't cope.



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Old 18-05-2019, 10:20 PM   #548
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I think you should ring them now. You need someone to talk to that understands your situation and although they might not understand as such at least they know how to deal with it and offer you help.

Don't worry about what other people are thinking, they might seem angry but it's because they don't know what other emotion to present when faced with something they don't understand. They are treating you and that's all you need to be concerned about.

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Old 18-05-2019, 11:18 PM   #549
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^ everything np says is wise





It's a long way down
On this rollercoaster.



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Old 18-05-2019, 11:30 PM   #550
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Hope you're getting on ok. <3

If you want to keep chatting to distract then I'll probably be around for a while, if that would help.

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Old 18-05-2019, 11:58 PM   #551
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I rang the crisis team 45 mins ago. And they still haven't called me back.



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Old 19-05-2019, 12:02 AM   #552
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Try again, maybe?

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Old 19-05-2019, 01:48 AM   #553
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It could also be that they are angry or frustrated with the mental health team/system there for failing you. It sucks to be in that situation and I am glad you got medical treatment. Thinking of you.



You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 19-05-2019, 09:03 AM   #554
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The crisis team came to see me last night. Arranged for me to stay in hospital overnight. I'm on a random orthopaedic ward. I need to go home now as they have none of my tablets.



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Old 19-05-2019, 11:52 AM   #555
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I'm glad they came to see you. Were they helpful?

How are you now being back at home?

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Old 19-05-2019, 12:04 PM   #556
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She was nice. I was in too much of a state for anything to be more helpful than the nurse who just sat and held my hand and chatted.



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Old 19-05-2019, 12:07 PM   #557
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It's good you had someone there with you though. Hopefully that was reassuring.

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Old 20-05-2019, 05:29 AM   #558
Heartbreak Kid
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I am glad the nurse kept you some company.
I am sorry people made you feel bad for getting help. Sounds like they don't fully understand why things are the way they are and that you can't just not feel the way you feel.

I miss you too. <3

Thank you for trying your best to fight this and look after yourself. That must be really hard to do & I appreciate you are doing it because you mean a lot to me and I wish I could make you feel better.



Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know


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Old 20-05-2019, 05:45 PM   #559
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How are you today? Sending lots of love.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 26-05-2019, 03:08 PM   #560
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I feel very overwhelmed and want to blood let.



Given enough tea I could rule the world.


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