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Old 22-06-2019, 02:29 PM   #61
EyelinerAndCigarettes
 
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Sending love, sweetie. You know where I am.







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Old 23-06-2019, 11:39 PM   #62
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I wrote down the words, I'm trying to stop calling it "the thing" and say the words. I wrote them down and had a panic attack and scratched my skin to get the feelings away and she made me do breathing exercises. I work in a yoga studio, I know breathing exercises. She didn't understand when I told her about not being real last Saturday, and I didn't know how to explain it.

I wrote down the words and I could barely write I was so fucking shaky and nothing is right and she put them in confidential waste and I wrote some thoughts and threw them in the solstice fire on Friday.

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Old 24-06-2019, 07:12 AM   #63
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It's great you could write the words down, even though it felt horrible. I can relate to not being able to say 'it'.

Do you think you might be dissociating and that's causing the unreal feeling or is it more of a strong beleif of not being real?

Hope I explained myself then!
Love you!
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Old 24-06-2019, 08:32 PM   #64
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It’s not a belief of not being real, I wasn’t real.

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Old 24-06-2019, 09:27 PM   #65
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I'm slightly confused, sweet. Do you mean you weren't real when 'it' happened?







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Old 24-06-2019, 09:42 PM   #66
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Last Saturday, when I wasn't real. It's not that I didn't think I was real, I wasn't! I know I wasn't.

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Old 25-06-2019, 02:36 AM   #67
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Understood. Did your therapist give you any advice? How was it burning those other thoughts?







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Old 26-06-2019, 05:26 PM   #68
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I've met 3 people in the past 24 hours, they all had the same name as him.

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Old 26-06-2019, 07:45 PM   #69
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That must have been scary and upsetting. It sounds like things are really difficult for you right now. How are you managing day to day?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 26-06-2019, 10:12 PM   #70
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well I'm real and existing today, I haven't been unreal since that Saturday night. I told my therapist but she didn't really understand.

I have a work BBQ on Saturday, and so I'm drinking at home tonight as practice.

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Old 27-06-2019, 08:40 AM   #71
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How are you feeling today, sweetheart?







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Old 28-06-2019, 08:17 PM   #72
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It can be hard for people to understand things that they haven't been through. Please keep talking to your therapist though.

Do you need to go to the BBQ if you don't feel up to it?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 02-07-2019, 11:37 PM   #73
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I went to the BBQ, my director was even more drunk than I was and we had a really deep chat, she said she'd noticed my newer scars but my openness (even though I don't discuss it at work) was part of why they wanted me for the job a few years ago when I first started.

I'm just angry at the world today though

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Old 03-07-2019, 04:06 PM   #74
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Do you have safe ways to express your anger?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 04-07-2019, 03:32 PM   #75
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I went to a yoga class yesterday, I was meant to go today as well but I felt really unwell last night and slept all morning and missed it.

I work in the yoga studio though so its okay


Last edited by Ahimsa : 04-07-2019 at 07:07 PM.
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Old 04-07-2019, 04:31 PM   #76
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How are you feeling now, after feeling unwell last night?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 04-07-2019, 07:08 PM   #77
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so so tired, of everything.

I missed my class this morning cos I was asleep, went to see my friend briefly, came home and slept again and missed another class I was planning on going to.

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Old 04-07-2019, 07:13 PM   #78
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Sometimes sleep can be healing, do you feel at all rested after your sleep(s)?

Sending love







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Old 04-07-2019, 07:44 PM   #79
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EyelinerAndCigarettes View Post
Sometimes sleep can be healing, do you feel at all rested after your sleep(s)?

Sending love

Not really, I mean I'm very anaemic and on iron tablets so I used to nap every day, usually twice - but I feel like I'm slipping there again too.

I don't have therapy til next week as she's been away, but I don't want to go.

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Old 04-07-2019, 07:57 PM   #80
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Could you possibly make a GP appointment to check your levels again?

Why don't you want to go to therapy?







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