Its getting harder and harder

[nanospeed]

I've been thinking what to write for a while now, I suppose that's is one of my many problems. I am not a very good at communication. It seems harder and harder to go on with my current life, I find it hard to make new friends, and be in a large group. The main reason is that I don't trust anybody, because I was bullied at school, which left me very bitter about life in general. Those years are still hunting me today, when I meet somebody new my instinct is to keep quiet and hope they go away. The main reason I was bullied was because I was tall and not a violent person. I know that I have to change my life or I am going fall into a darker hole. But where to start I feel like a empty shell.

[Heaven Knows]

Hi there.
Sorry to hear you're having suck a rough time right now. I know it's hard to leave the years of bullying behind you and accept that not everyone is going to hurt or humiliate you.
Are there any local clubs or groups you can join? I always found it easier to be in a group when it was my choice to be there as opposed to somewhere I had to be [like school etc].
Have you sought any help in regards to the bullying? It might be something to look into to help you deal with how it has affected you, and still is.
I hope things get easier for you.
x Katie x

[Lotti]

I think you know yourself what you need to do, you mentioned what you do that makes it hard to make friends.

The only thing you can do here, is to try change those behaviours and make an effort to be who you want to be.

Good luck x

[crazykat]

I agree with Lotti, it can be hard to change these behaviors but it is possible. Maybe start off small if that makes it easier talk to those who you feel closet to then once you feel more comfortable with that expand it. Remember just because you have been hurt in the past doesn't mean it will happen again. Take care
Kat xxx