I'm tired of everything

[daisy13]

The other day my sister told me that she could listen to anyone even old people but when I talked to her she would block me out. I didn't know how to take this but it kind of hurt. Then she said that I don't have anything going on with my life. I'm always home, I never go out, I don't have any friends and I'm not even close to finishing my college degree. I realized that she's right. Both of my sisters have friends and a life going for them. I don't have anything. I have zero friends. I have no life. The only thing from being alone and keeping my feelings bottled up all of these years. Lately I have wanted to disappear. When I was younger I tried to run away many times but I figured that my parents would eventually find me. Now I don't know what to do. I can't talk to anyone and I am getting to a point where I just don't care about life or what happens to me.

[Tig]

Hi Lovely,

I'm sorry you are having such a horrible time. What your sister said was cruel and insensitive, and it sounds like it really touched a raw spot with you. *Sending you gentle hugs*

You may not be close to finishing your college degree but you are still doing your college degree and you should be proud of yourself for that. You could have dropped out or chosen not to do it, but you are doing it. That is something going for you. One day you will be close to finishing that college degree and you can know that you did yourself proud most importantly but also, proved those doubters wrong!

I'm sorry your life feels so empty and that you have found yourself feeling quite isolated and with no friends. It doesn't have to be this way and it isn't a reflection on you. Your sisters may have friends and a life going for them, so can you. It's a shame that rather than attacking you, your sister couldn't see how hard things are for you and try and support you to make the positive changes.
What sort of interests do you have? I appreciate when you are feeling depressed it is difficult to think of interests but can you remember what you used to enjoy? Is there anything you could do to get back in to those interests, such as joining a group or volunteering? If you join something with other people, then you will have a shared interest and this should help you to meet new people.

I know you don't feel you have anyone you can speak to about how you are feeling but is there anyone like a counselor at your college you could speak to or your Doctor? It sounds like you are in a dark place and you deserve the support to move forward and live a happier and more fulfilling life.

We are here for you, anytime.

Take care,

Lottie x

[daisy13]

I have tried to reach out to an advisor at my school but he never tried to contact me back. The only interest that I can think of is soccer but I'm overweight so I can't play in a team. I've also done research on counseling and that's how I found this site. There's counseling centers around my area but they are somewhat expensive. I can't afford it since I'm a full time student without a job. If I ask my family to help me pay they will either ignore me or make fun of me.

[Tig]

It's good you were looking for information about counseling and came across this site. I know it's not real life but hopefully we will be able to help somewhat and it sounds like you are looking to make positive changes if you have been looking in to counseling.

Would it be worth contacting the advisor again? It may be that for whatever reason your message didn't get to him and not a reflection on the fact that he doesn't want to help you.

x

[daisy13]

I just need someone to talk to who won't judge me or anything. And since my advisor is my only option I will try again.

[Tig]

I think that sounds like a good decision Daisy. I hope that he will respond this time.

We are always here for you too.

x