Maybe use the fact that it's eight years in a positive way. In that, because he wouldn't want you to feel this way, maybe use it as a reason to encourage yourself to eat. I'm not saying to get better FOR him, because that's not a healthy mode of recovery, but it can be a useful starting point. Maybe, "grandad wouldn't want things to be this way so I will eat X" and use that as a positive way to move forward??
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