My mom's doctor told the hospice nurse that he thinks my mom has only a week or two left in her...
I can't see that. She still seems strong enough to live longer than that. She seems as strong as she did 2 weeks ago. Surely, that means that there's another 2 weeks left in her, right?
I'm totally losing it on this one. I thought I was strong, but I'm not. The tears keep welling up. I can't resist the urges to cut. I just can't. Also, I've been pouring all this out on some of my friends, and I can't help but feel guilty about it. They can't do anything about it. Some of them have been great in helping, but I just wish I would shut-up and learn to deal with it myself...but then I just end up cutting.
How am I going to keep living without her? I'm not even 18 yet. I'm still a child...I need my mom...
I don't even know why I'm posting this. Everyone who reads this will probably think, "wow, another one of those kids trying to get everyone to pity her." I'm not. Trust me, I'm not. I just...I don't know. Talking about this seems better now than letting it eat at my soul...and a lot better than cutting because if I were to cut right now, I don't know if I'll be able to stop, or how far I'll go.
I don't know what I want from you guys...hugs, maybe...I know there's not a whole lot anyone can do...
oh sweetie *hugs* firstly please dont apologise for talking about this..i couldnt think of anything harder than losing a parent, especially since you are still so young, and you're right you do need your mum.
and hun talking to your friends and leaning on them is nothing to feel guilty about..friends arent just in our lives to have fun with, we also have friends for the times that life gets hard, i'm sure you would be there for them if they needed you. so please keep talking to them, you will need them more than ever when the time comes hun.
and sweetie you have to let yourself grieve at this time..your mum is still here but you are preparing for the time when she goes..if you dont let it out by crying or talking to people it will eat away at you, dont let it build up, it's ok to be sad,angry and scared. its not fair..
so let all those emotions out so they dont build up.
sorry i couldnt be more help
here to talk if you need it hun
and i'm sorry you have to go through this..remember you are not alone.
pls take care xoxoxox
Do not follow the common path.....go where there is no path and leave a trail.....
you have nothing to apologize for. I mean seriously, losing a parent when yo uare still young (hell any age) is traumatic and scary.
Has any sort of counselling been set up? either for you or your mom or a combination? If not pls talk to her hospice worker or doc and ask for something..this is too much too deal alone..
im so very sorry..i wish i could something to actually help..
pls keep talking
romp
Location: London . . . the less awesome one in Ontario, Canada
*hugs* for you and your mother. Everything I could say seems pretty empty and like not enough considering what you are dealing with right now, but please know that we are all thinking of you and your mother, and we are here if you need us, any time.
Counseling might be worth looking into. This is such a difficult thing to deal with, and you shouldn't have to do it alone. Perhaps speaking with someone would help. Whatever you decide to do take care and don't ever hesitate to ask if you need support, hugs, whatever it might be.
Oh sweetheart im sorry, please dont appologise for posting here, its what RYL is for and as you said it is so much better for you to talk about it than have it eating away at you inside.
I have never been in your position so I can only imagine how hard this must be for you, losing a parent at any age is hard, but being so young it must be so much harder. You need to stop being so hard on yourself, you're 17, dont beat yourself up over talking to friends and posting here.
As Beatrix said counselling might really help you, it is hard but when you're going through something like this you really need to have someone to talk to. RYL is always here for you and you can post as much as you want.
Take care of yourself, im here if you want to talk.
Hugs to you and your mum
Aimee xx
Hey honey!
No need to apologize for a thing!
Stay with your mum, even if it hurts, right now.
Those are moments, you might regret not having lived to experience later in your life.
Kiss, Liz
"The opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference."
- Elie Wiesel
She's still hanging in there. I'm worried because I've gotta work a lot of days coming up. My shifts are usually only 4 or 5 hours long though, so I can still see my mom when I don't work.
She seems weaker today than yesterday. She's slept a lot more. She did have to go to the clinic today though, so that might have worn her out. All I can do now is hope, right? Hope for what though? I know she's not going to get better...
hey babe.. first of all, dont apologize.. okay? and dont feel guilty, thats what friends are for.. it could help to get some counseling set up, like they said,okay love? also... i dont know how you feel, cause ive never been in this position before, but im here if you ever wanna talk. ill pray for you and your mom.. and dont give up all hope.. if you believe in her, sometimes, it can bring more time.. im sorry im not much of help, but never hesitate to post anything here, and PM me anytime.. okay? we love you, take care.
Aw darling. I'm so sorry. I really can't imagine how you feel, but I know it must be horrible.
Please don't apologize. You're perfectly justified in wanting to talk about it. This point in your life would be an awful time to be feeling alone, so I hope you don't. I am willing to bet that your friends are more than willing to listen, even if it may be tough for them to know how to help. It's a difficult situation for everyone.
You are absolutely welcome to come here if you need to vent or keep yourself safe. I genuinely hope you're able to find some comfort, be it through counseling, speaking to friends, or whatever. And I hope that you are able to spend as much time as possible with your mother.
You'll be in my thoughts.
x
well, i have sown untidy furrows 'cross my soul,
but I am still a coward,
content to see my garden grow so sweet & full
of someone else's flowers.
Aw Hun. Don't apologise. That's what RYL is here for, for you to talk. If I were you I would try to take time off work, and stay with your mum. Just so you can be with her. *hugs to both of you*
Try and talk to people to get it it out of your system. You won't be bothering anyone.
Take care
Tiff x
for what its worth a close friend of mine recently lost her mother, my friends just turned 19 so not much older than you. whilst it has really really hurt to lose her she is coping suprisingly well now, its only been a few month but even she will say that she is doing so much better than she expected. i mean, obviously she is still devistated by her loss and all...
what im trying to say is yes, its going to be possibly the worst thing in your life but its not the end of your life, you will get thru this and you will be ok. you just need to stay as strong as you can and you will be ok.
one bit of advice tho, DONT let your feelings build up inside of you, let them out. everyone around you will understand and be there for you
hush little baby, don't say a word, and never mind that noise you heard
it's just the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head
She seemed to be doing okay this morning...she had an okay appetite, and she was talking about doing something tomorrow night...(tonight now), but...somewhere during the day, she started feeling sick, and throwing up.
Just a while ago (around 1:30 AM), my step-dad had to take her into the hospital...
She's just in so much pain...
Why does this happen to people?
It's just not fair...
WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!
Sorry...if anyone wants me to shut-up yet, just tell me. I'll go away quietly, I promise.
Hi i know i don't know and i don't think we have ever spoken but please what you are going though mean you should not be saying sorry for worrying or hurting.
You meantioned your friends and i am glad to hear the can be there for you and i am sure they will understand perfectly if you want to lean on them.
i am sorry your mum is being taken to hospital but no one is ever going to tell you to shut up with stuff like this and you must not heisate to pm anyone that has offered it at any time including me.
please stop beating your self about talking you need to talk it is allowed
much love and hope *hugs*
miya x
Dont apologise for posting in here, If everyone was scared of posting there would be no RYL this goes for you talking about shutting up to.
Loosing one of your parents at whatever age is one of the hardest and worst and most suckiest things you will ever go through and you need to let it out to all you can.
You are in my thoughts
xoxox
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
Is a chocolate muffin loving glitter ball
You don't need to shut up. You need to talk.
I'm sorry your Mum is in hospital. They will take good care of you.
Make sure you take good care of yourself.
*hugs* There is nothing I can say that will help, I just want you to know that my thoughts and my prayers are with you, this is the wrong time not to have my Wicca books or i would try to do more. I have no idea what you must be going through. *hugs again* Good luck,
The doctor came in this morning and told us that her kidneys are probably failing. She hasn't said much at all today, and she hasn't eaten anything neither. My step-dad told me today that she's not coming home. The move would be too much pain for her. We're just going to stay at the hospital until it happens...
I don't even know how to explain how I'm feeling...
But I did get off work. I told some of my co-workers this morning, and they called the boss before I even had a chance to...and they have all my shifts covered, and they have me off the schedule until I am ready to come back...
I just wish that my mom's final day(s) would NOT be filled with pain...
We're at the Mayo Clinic for crying out loud...you'd think they'd be able to do more to help with the pain...ARGH!
Part of me wants to break down...
The other part is trying to stay together...
I just don't know what to do anymore...
or what to feel...my feelings are so mixed up right not...sadness, anger, worrying, more sadness, more anger, more worrying, etc...ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
