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Old 28-12-2012, 10:29 PM   #1
rachaellostinlife
 
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what triggered your eating disorder?

mine has been triggered by people i love and trust putting me down ...
my mams bf used to compare me yo my sisters and call me butch .. A bf called me unsexy, unattractive because of the weight i had at the time ...

then there was school where nearly every girl called me fat and ugly and that i was crap at everything .... I was left with low self esteem worthlessness ... Anorexia, then binge/purging.. Anorexia again and now (don't know what you would call it) - binging but not swallowing the food .. I.e goes straight in the bin ... How did yours start ?

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Old 29-12-2012, 12:57 AM   #2
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I found it unsettling leaving school and starting sixth form, then the anxiety and panic attacks started, then a year later my dad died which was when my eating disorder really had a grip on me.



a journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step

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Old 29-12-2012, 01:35 AM   #3
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:( . .its just weird how we are affected by different things ... What are you doing to try overcome your disorder ?

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Old 29-12-2012, 02:34 PM   #4
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i think mine started when i comfort ate at about 12 years old because i was lonely and depressed. after school i would buy two huge galaxy bars and get into bed and read whilst eating. i put on a bit of weight and started throwing up my meals. then i started binging/purging loads and alternate that with starving myself now

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Old 29-12-2012, 02:42 PM   #5
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that's what i used to do


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Old 29-12-2012, 06:09 PM   #6
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do you ever swallow any food at all?

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Old 29-12-2012, 07:09 PM   #7
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i have my normal food i eat i.e super healthy .... Then it tends to be biscuits i go for .... I ended up buying packets and literally chewing and spitting out which is why I've put weight on :( and why i want to get better xx


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Old 30-12-2012, 07:10 AM   #8
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(Stuff is hidden because it could be triggering for abuse/assault, etc)

The following content has been hidden - Reason : triggering

I think that my eating disorder was primarily triggered by experiencing sexual assault. Due to childhood abuse, I was always "weird" with food in the first place, and scared of truly becoming overweight because my parents were both overweight (my mother is obese) and I was terrified of being controlled by food like they were - ironic, right? But food-weirdness aside, I at least was not deliberately starving myself on a regular basis or anything. But then I was raped by two different men, repeatedly, one my sophomore year of high school and again freshman year of college (two years ago). Starving myself became an outlet for self-hatred and an attempt to feel "clean" again. I guess that, in my PTSD-addled mind, I decided that bones were the cleanest things in me, so I wanted to wear myself down to just those. I still have major, major issues with my body (I can't look at my own mouth or crotch, for example)...but at least I've been eating pretty normally for a few months. I guess it's the small victories.



"You cannot take what you have not given, and you must give yourself." -Shevek, The Dispossessed(Ursula K. LeGuin)

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Old 30-12-2012, 09:08 AM   #9
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My eating disorder I hate to blame on anyone but myself. Although I kno I wouldn't be in this mind set if it wernt for certain people.
My father abused me for years and years. and last year at school I got beat up literally weekly for my weight. And my ex bf sexually abused me,all triggering my ed.
After that I gave up food. I wouldn't eat,an u couldn't make me. Then my dad tried to send me away,and as much as I wanted to leave i Couldn't leave my lil brothers alone. So I hide it,I just threw up everything I ate,and Wouldn't swallow most of what went in my mouth. Now Istruggle with that and over exercising till I puke and can't force myself any harder.







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Old 30-12-2012, 10:04 AM   #10
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oh god that's terrible :( are you taking steps to recover ??

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Old 31-12-2012, 04:49 AM   #11
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I'm not. Everyone thinks Iam. But I'm not. In a way..Idont want to recover,but Ialmost kinda sorta do.







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Old 31-12-2012, 09:16 AM   #12
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i know that feeling ... Its what happens before something changes your mind .. For me it was passing out and my current medical condition xx

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Old 31-12-2012, 04:33 PM   #13
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In 2010 it was a combination of not being able to study social work due to not having maths and my lifestyle/eating habits and plus I lost a stone unintentionally due to tummy bug that never went away.
2011 it was due my grandma calling me fat when I gained weight and I was also sexually assaulted in October 2011 and has had periods of depression

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Old 31-12-2012, 11:43 PM   #14
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if im honest mine was caused by
beeing bullied in school from the age of 6 til 17years old the usual outcast
neglect ,abuse
just wanting to be thin in general cuz i though or think it looked sexy
no one ever noticed me in school i was the freak
close people to me died
rejection,
plus it started cuz someone forgot to clean kitchen sides down and i must of touched the sides and contacted my mouth i was making coffeat the time ended up with food poisioning was mega sick i just found it easier to stay off food after beeing ill
plus i was a tad puppy fat for a year as a young child

now i have an*rexia (hate the word) and not in recovery tried it once hated it beeing truthful but im just plodding along really put up with it for years





hugs to u all none of those things should happen to anyone
i hate people who bully or abuse in any sort of way its just wrong



young girl its alright your tears will soon dry your soon be free to fly

she's falling from grace , she's all over the place..............




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Old 01-01-2013, 12:34 AM   #15
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i was bullied badly but think the main thing affecting me was my bf at the time and my family critisising .. Just thought well if my family and bf cant love me for me, why should i love myself xx

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Old 06-01-2013, 04:47 AM   #16
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Mine was caused by being bullied starting when I was 3 (by a TEACHER)...and my parents never treated me very well...and when I was younger I used to be extremely thin, so I wanted to look that way again. When I was 12 while I was at camp, I just didn't eat much. I just told the counselors I didn't like the food. But after losing a lot of weight I just wanted to feel normal again, and I saw some cookies and...that was it.


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Old 06-01-2013, 10:26 AM   #17
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you became on the road to recovery? Xx

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Old 06-01-2013, 03:07 PM   #18
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My family told me I was fat and humiliated me when I ate.

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Old 06-01-2013, 04:37 PM   #19
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that's not nice - yeah mine is family orientated too

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Old 06-01-2013, 06:05 PM   #20
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one term 'pro'ed sites'



i dont feel so good anymore
not the way i used to feel
when i was young


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