mine has been triggered by people i love and trust putting me down ...
my mams bf used to compare me yo my sisters and call me butch .. A bf called me unsexy, unattractive because of the weight i had at the time ...
then there was school where nearly every girl called me fat and ugly and that i was crap at everything .... I was left with low self esteem worthlessness ... Anorexia, then binge/purging.. Anorexia again and now (don't know what you would call it) - binging but not swallowing the food .. I.e goes straight in the bin ... How did yours start ?
i think mine started when i comfort ate at about 12 years old because i was lonely and depressed. after school i would buy two huge galaxy bars and get into bed and read whilst eating. i put on a bit of weight and started throwing up my meals. then i started binging/purging loads and alternate that with starving myself now
i have my normal food i eat i.e super healthy .... Then it tends to be biscuits i go for .... I ended up buying packets and literally chewing and spitting out which is why I've put weight on :( and why i want to get better xx
Last edited by random.swirls : 01-01-2013 at 07:51 PM.
Reason: See your pm's xox
(Stuff is hidden because it could be triggering for abuse/assault, etc)
The following content has been hidden - Reason : triggering
I think that my eating disorder was primarily triggered by experiencing sexual assault. Due to childhood abuse, I was always "weird" with food in the first place, and scared of truly becoming overweight because my parents were both overweight (my mother is obese) and I was terrified of being controlled by food like they were - ironic, right? But food-weirdness aside, I at least was not deliberately starving myself on a regular basis or anything. But then I was raped by two different men, repeatedly, one my sophomore year of high school and again freshman year of college (two years ago). Starving myself became an outlet for self-hatred and an attempt to feel "clean" again. I guess that, in my PTSD-addled mind, I decided that bones were the cleanest things in me, so I wanted to wear myself down to just those. I still have major, major issues with my body (I can't look at my own mouth or crotch, for example)...but at least I've been eating pretty normally for a few months. I guess it's the small victories.
"You cannot take what you have not given, and you must give yourself." -Shevek, The Dispossessed(Ursula K. LeGuin)
My eating disorder I hate to blame on anyone but myself. Although I kno I wouldn't be in this mind set if it wernt for certain people.
My father abused me for years and years. and last year at school I got beat up literally weekly for my weight. And my ex bf sexually abused me,all triggering my ed.
After that I gave up food. I wouldn't eat,an u couldn't make me. Then my dad tried to send me away,and as much as I wanted to leave i Couldn't leave my lil brothers alone. So I hide it,I just threw up everything I ate,and Wouldn't swallow most of what went in my mouth. Now Istruggle with that and over exercising till I puke and can't force myself any harder.
In 2010 it was a combination of not being able to study social work due to not having maths and my lifestyle/eating habits and plus I lost a stone unintentionally due to tummy bug that never went away.
2011 it was due my grandma calling me fat when I gained weight and I was also sexually assaulted in October 2011 and has had periods of depression
if im honest mine was caused by
beeing bullied in school from the age of 6 til 17years old the usual outcast
just wanting to be thin in general cuz i though or think it looked sexy
no one ever noticed me in school i was the freak
close people to me died
plus it started cuz someone forgot to clean kitchen sides down and i must of touched the sides and contacted my mouth i was making coffeat the time ended up with food poisioning was mega sick i just found it easier to stay off food after beeing ill
plus i was a tad puppy fat for a year as a young child
now i have an*rexia (hate the word) and not in recovery tried it once hated it beeing truthful but im just plodding along really put up with it for years
hugs to u all none of those things should happen to anyone
i hate people who bully or abuse in any sort of way its just wrong
young girl its alright your tears will soon dry your soon be free to fly
she's falling from grace , she's all over the place..............
Mine was caused by being bullied starting when I was 3 (by a TEACHER)...and my parents never treated me very well...and when I was younger I used to be extremely thin, so I wanted to look that way again. When I was 12 while I was at camp, I just didn't eat much. I just told the counselors I didn't like the food. But after losing a lot of weight I just wanted to feel normal again, and I saw some cookies and...that was it.
Last edited by Amaryllis : 07-01-2013 at 04:58 PM.
Reason: Removed ED numbers
"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." - Oscar Wilde