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Old 04-06-2007, 06:36 PM   #1
ghosts in the machine
coimeádaí rún
 
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I have no clue as to what to do now...

(I made part of this post on v2, just before we switched over.)

I'm a whore. I go along with him up to a certain point, and then I decide that I don't want sex. I'm a tease. And he's been getting more and more annoyed that I'm "difficult to persuade". And then he just lost his temper. And hit me. And locked the door and said I wasn't going anywhere until I'd ****ed him.

So I did. It's consentual. I agreed to it, in the end. Besides, it's not as if I didn't "enjoy" it. So, y'know. My fault. Entirely.


I told someone today about what happened. And I got this response:

"You went and got yourself into that situation knowing what he was likely to do. Best thing now is to forget about it and move on. It's not that bad."

So... I don't know what to do now. I mean, is she right? Am I really making a big thing out of nothing? In which case, I'm sorry for wasting all your time on this the past couple of weeks.

And if I'm not overreacting... then I still don't know what to do. I'm not sure I want to tell anyone else, in case they say the same thing and I already feel disgusting and easy and I don't want to hear someone else say it doesn't matter...


Last edited by ghosts in the machine : 04-06-2007 at 06:56 PM.


For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen

For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other

~ We're marching on... ~


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Old 04-06-2007, 06:44 PM   #2
broken
I.want.to[[run]]and((Hide))an{{Never}}loo k.back...
 
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well hun... you were perswaded into it, pressured into it,
Doesn't matter how much you flirt you should never be pressured into anything, Its your body hun, your choise not is,
i'm sorry you had to be pressured through it.
and hun whats important is not what we think... its what you think
do you feel that something wasn't right about it!?!



[</3]_And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel_[</3]

~*~I walked away because you were((hurting))((Killing)) me! [[not]] because i'm weak~*~





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Old 04-06-2007, 07:28 PM   #3
helper1218
 
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I don't think the person who told you that is right...just because forced sexual acts are not something to be danced around. Not to mention it very well could elevate into something really serious. Anytime you are this afraid and in any severe emotional and/or phyiscal pain in a relationship that's a big sign o get out sweetie. *hugs* Please get out to get yourslf safe. You deserve a guy who treats you with respect, love and gentleness. Good luck.

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Old 04-06-2007, 11:49 PM   #4
ghosts in the machine
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He has been hurting me since I got "involved" with him two weeks ago. I know I deserve this; I do meet up with him and go along with what he wants, so it's not as if I am blameless. And I guess I've been going along with it all because it is familiar; I can deal with some guy hurting me - all I have to do is pretend everything is okay really ...

But I also know that it's not healthy and I'll regret it in the long run (hell, I regret it now). If I can get someone to believe me in RL and they say it's not right... then maybe I'll have the incentive to get, and stay, away from him (plus someone checking up on me from time to time).

It's just... no one seems to believe me. So now I feel like I'm wasting people's time here and that I'm just overreacting to it. I'm going to try and tell my friend tomorrow, but.. I don't know. I don't know if I can cope with yet another person telling me this is nothing as it's going round and round in my head. It's agrevating the flashbacks of previous sexual abuse, and I'm just not sleeping because I'm scared of getting nightmares.

Bah.



For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen

For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other

~ We're marching on... ~


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Old 05-06-2007, 01:09 PM   #5
lydia.
 
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Heya,
You do not deserve to be treated like that at all sweetie. He sounds like a nasty piece of work, and you need to end it with him. The sooner the better.
I think you should keep telling people. Keep telling people until someone believes you and wants to help you out.
*squishes*

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Old 05-06-2007, 08:43 PM   #6
hopeless
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You don't deserve anything, that he is doing to you.
You deserve so much better then him.
I know it's easier said then done, but you have to leave him.
He is not doing you good.

PM me if you need to talk.
I hope you are okay.
take care.



"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody"

"Do you cry as I do?
Are you lonely up there all by yourself?
Like I have felt all my life"

Last cut: 3.12.2006


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Old 06-06-2007, 12:50 AM   #7
rhi
 
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You're not over-reacting.

*hugs*

Keep talking until you get help and support.

Perhaps there's a rape/abuse support centre near you that you can go to.



Thank you for letting me stay here
Thank you for taking me in

-Gratitude, Ani DiFranco

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Old 07-06-2007, 06:17 PM   #8
ghosts in the machine
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I told my counsellor, and she believed me. I'm trying to break it off with this guy - like not answering texts/calls. I told him I didn't want to meet up again.

Thank you for all your support.



For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen

For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other

~ We're marching on... ~


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Old 07-06-2007, 07:10 PM   #9
rhi
 
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that's really good, hun.

*hugs*



Thank you for letting me stay here
Thank you for taking me in

-Gratitude, Ani DiFranco

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Old 08-06-2007, 10:58 AM   #10
sapphire hearts
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Congratulations sweetheart, I knew you could do it! *hugs* I am so proud of you.
Take care of yourself, ok? You're a wonderful amazing person, so look after you.
Katie xxx



Ask me mistakes I have made
Ask me whether what I have done is my life

Others have come, in their slow way -
And some have come to help, or to hurt -

Ask me what difference
Their strongest love or hate has made.

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Old 09-06-2007, 01:18 AM   #11
Ratatouille strychnine
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*hugs you really tight*

That's so fantastic, hun. I'm really proud of you.

How are you feeling now?
xxx





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Old 09-06-2007, 05:27 AM   #12
FlightlessBird
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I'll castrate him for you if you want ;) Anyway, you didn't "ask" for it. Some men suck and he's one that definitely does. Just because you're a flirt or whatever they might label you doesn't mean that you deserve for something you didn't really want to happen to be forced on you. You can always PM/IM me if you need to talk.



I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Oh, but God, I want to let it go.
If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, you can find out first-hand what it's like to be me.
You'll need a symphony to give sympathy to the girl with the worst luck in town.
When I care, it curls me up on the floor and I swear I can't do it anymore.


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