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15-10-2014, 06:16 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: island of misfit toys
I am currently:
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last resort
i really thinking about killing myself. I've tried to find to find ways to cope with my depression like art, music, writing. Nothing works anymore. i don't really want to die but i can't live with the pain and the blame anymore. It feels like I've run out of options. My family know i cut but they really do not care. My brother makes jokes about the cutting. My mom just acts like i let her down. My dad doesn't say anything. i have no friends. i don't know what to do.
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15-10-2014, 06:25 PM
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#2
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Steph.
Join Date: Dec 2009
I am currently:
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Hi there,
I am sorry to hear you are feeling so low at the moment.
It sounds like your parents might not be sure how to help you, so they may be reacting in the only way they know how to out of shock and fear.
It might be worth researching self harm online and printing some things off for them to read that might help them understand why you are doing it a little better. You could also try writing them a letter explaining it because nobody knows how you feel and why you self-harm better than you do. If they understand better maybe they can talk to your brother about the comments he makes and how they make you feel, because he also might be feeling scared for you and doesnt know how to express it.
Are you old enough to see a doctor without your parent's consent? If so it might be worth going and having a chat with them to see if they can get you any professional support because killing yourself is a very permanent solution to a temporary problem. It can get better.
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16-10-2014, 06:06 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: island of misfit toys
I am currently:
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i gave my dad a book about self harm but he keeps putting off reading it. i'm 17 so i guess i could see a doctor by myself but if i need treatment i don't know if my parents will allow it. i turn 18 at the end of the year but i don't know if i can hold on that long.
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16-10-2014, 06:36 PM
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#4
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Steph.
Join Date: Dec 2009
I am currently:
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How would you feel about having a chat with them and saying you are thinking of going to the drs to address the problem so they know you are being proactive, and you are hoping they might suggest some form of treatment, either some counselling maybe or perhaps trying a medication and you would like their support with it?
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21-10-2014, 08:41 AM
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#5
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nessARGH.
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Texas.
I am currently:
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Above all else, know that you are loved. You have your whole life ahead of you... and yes, I know that probably sounds pretty depressing to you right now. But trust me, it's worth it once you make it to the other side of the tracks. Has anything changed recently before you began feeling so suicidal, or was it just a gradual decline? Do you love yourself? If not, what would it take for you to do so?
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taken by the sky.
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21-10-2014, 06:15 PM
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#6
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: island of misfit toys
I am currently:
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i talked my dad about getting counselling but he thinks he can fix me with a god i don't believe in. since my parents are really religious they will not let me take pills. it feels like i could get better with proper help but my family is holding me back.
to: guest visitor. I've been going down hill for years. when i was younger i went threw different kinds of abuse from different people. i have a hard time connecting with people my age and making friends. honestly, i hate myself more than i hate anything else. i've tried focusing on the good parts of myself and learning to accept me for who i am but i just can't. i've even ended relationships with people i care about because i feel like i'm not good enough for them and that they are better off with out me.
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21-10-2014, 11:01 PM
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#8
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Steph.
Join Date: Dec 2009
I am currently:
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JusC. Please be cautious when referring people to other places because not everyone is in the UK and Mind is primarily a UK charity, as is the Samaritans
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22-10-2014, 06:13 PM
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#9
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: island of misfit toys
I am currently:
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i'm going to have a meeting with my parents and try to explain to them how i feel and that i really need help. i also plan on seeing a doctor. i'm a little nervous about talking about my self harm to people. sometimes i wear short sleeves because i feel like, to hell with the hiding. other times i just want to disappear. i don't know where i fit in anymore but i like talking to the people on this site because in a twisted way i belong here. so thanks to every one who supports me. (forgive me for ranting)
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22-10-2014, 10:30 PM
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#10
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: UK
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I think you are very brave.
Stay strong and safe. I know it is cliche but there is so much more to life than the darkness of depression, anxiety, self harm, abuse etc. I hope your parents let you get the help you deserve.
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Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in
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