Contains abuse - thoughts of killing people getting to munch

Darkwings44 · 08-08-2019, 10:25 PM

ive been thinking of killing people who have hurted me in the past since saterday and and theres more then 12 groups of people that have hurted me in the past and ive asked a friend in the day hab about going to a website for guns and stuff like that but today she told me that she wont help me i cant help but think about killing them all!!

Irisflower · 09-08-2019, 01:14 AM

Please don't act on your impulses. I am sorry you were hirt in the past, but don't let that carry over into present actions. Is there anyone you can talk to about this urgent matter? Even a helpline? You are strong enough to resist.

one_step_closer · 09-08-2019, 11:04 AM

I'm sorry you've been hurt by people and are having such distressing thoughts at the moment. I think trying to kill people would make things worse for you. Who can you talk to to try and start to heal your pain?

Darkwings44 · 15-08-2019, 09:08 PM

i have no idea how to stop them from hurting me again without doing it

ive written alot about it in my journal and tried showing it to her and but she couldnt promise me that she would tell no one about it so she didnt read it and she said that she wouldnt look at the journal because she didnt want to break my trust...but ive tried talking with my therpist a little bit about it and she said to write a story about how i would feel once ive done it and i feel like i would be able to be at peace knowing that once and for all they cant hurt me anymore......

one_step_closer · 16-08-2019, 02:18 PM

I don't think you would be fully at peace, your actions would mean that they continue hurting you through whatever happens to you criminally etc. I hear your pain. Is there a different way you could feel more at peace? Will you keep talking to your therapist about things?

Darkwings44 · 17-08-2019, 08:13 PM

I don’t know but I’ll try.......

one_step_closer · 18-08-2019, 02:00 PM

Please do keep talking to your therapist, I hope she can help you work through things safely. It's much better to talk about this stuff than keep it inside of yourself. Take care.

Darkwings44 · 05-09-2019, 11:37 PM

I really don’t know if I can keep talking to my therapist about it.... I really don’t think she believes everything that I’ve told her

one_step_closer · 06-09-2019, 12:27 PM

What makes you think that?

Darkwings44 · 07-09-2019, 06:31 PM

She’s said that

one_step_closer · 08-09-2019, 11:08 AM

Did you talk through with her why that is her belief?

Darkwings44 · 10-09-2019, 06:36 PM

No not yet...

one_step_closer · 11-09-2019, 04:23 PM

Will you talk to her about it if you think it would be useful? How have things been recently?

Darkwings44 · 29-09-2019, 03:16 PM

Ive stayed guarded during the last time of the therapy meeting

Bad....

Pi.R^2 · 06-10-2019, 03:34 PM

What do you mean?

Darkwings44 · 10-10-2019, 10:32 PM

i didnt open up and talk to her....

Bellatrix · 11-10-2019, 12:34 AM

You could write it down and give or post/email her the writing.
Might be easier than bringing it up.

one_step_closer · 11-10-2019, 01:25 PM

Is there something that makes it difficult for you to open up with her? Writing things down and giving it to her is a really good idea.

Darkwings44 · 12-10-2019, 05:15 PM

Alot of things....
I don’t think it will help...

one_step_closer · 12-10-2019, 07:06 PM

Could you try at least? If it doesn't help then you won't have lost anything by trying.