Live Help


Forum Jump
Post New Thread  Reply
Old 28-07-2016, 11:18 AM   #1
shadow-light
He was no dragon. Fire cannot kill a dragon
 
shadow-light's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: York
I am currently:
i8 cannot hold don a job

why can i not hold down any job i get? Like seriously, the wlongest i;vwe ever had one job for is 13 months, usually i lasty about 3 months before either having a breakdown and qiuitting then moving to another city or being fired....


yesterdy i was fred. i8 made literally 2 moistakes in 3 months and was foired, didn;t help that everyone else there throw me under the bus and blamed their errors on me, or at least didnt own up to them so it was assuimed that it was me.


i will admit i did hate the job, i made a HUGE career mistaje in becoming twhat i am, but thats not the point. i still need a job for income, i dont want to be homesless again, i cant be hjimeless again, i refuse.


i/ve had to go on JSA again, they have given me an ap[ointment this afternoon. i hate going there. IO could maybe find a temp job by momnday, but i am sick of temp jobs and their unpracdittability and the whole not really having any rights thing. why the hell did i decide to become a joiner anyway? oh, i remember, because i had a temping job as a labourer assisting a joiner and decided that their job looked fun, that is not the way to decide on a career


i've been unemployed for literally 21 hours and i amj falling back into old habbits already. this isnt right.


but ye... why cant i hold down a job? What is wrong with me?>???

shadow-light is offline   Reply With Quote
2 Hugs Given By :
Old 28-07-2016, 05:01 PM   #2
Horizon
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: USA
I am currently:

I also struggle with employment - I love working and feeling busy and productive, yet sometimes my mental health issues make it very hard for me to stay. The longest I held a full-time job was about six months, and even then I was in the hospital twice and eventually had to quit because of my mental state.

You mentioned that you have a breakdown, usually around the 3 month mark. Are you able to pinpoint things that might contribute to the breakdown?

I'm sorry that I can't be more help on JSA and joiners, I'm not quite sure what they are or how they operate.

I hope you manage to take care of yourself while you try to get this sorted out.

Horizon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-07-2016, 07:50 PM   #3
shadow-light
He was no dragon. Fire cannot kill a dragon
 
shadow-light's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: York
I am currently:

i dont even know if it is a mental health thing, kin dof think/feel its more a me being useless/a faiure thing. As a rule I do not get along well with people, I rarely (if ever) fit in at any job I get, I cant join in with their conversations about football or rubbish on TV or whatever, and noones ever interested in the same things as me so we just cant have a conversation, and then people just irriate me in general or just trying to fit in and remember all the social rules tends to exhaust me and then everything goes to pot a little...
I'm 29 and most of time I am still the geeky outcast like i was though most of school lol
On top of that I start to feel trapped in the job and the routine, esspecially if it in indoors. It sounds stupid, and I have no idea how to explain it. It's like anxiety mixed with extreme restlessness. And this usually gets worse and worse until I end up doing something spontanious and not thought through which usually involves my no longer having the job and often involves me moving city. Then a few weeks/months later I will have no idea why I did it and will have to start all over again with finding work etc. Got close to that this time, but got fired first so, ye, in a way dodged a bullet I gues

JSA is basically an out of work benefit, applied as I need to have some form of income as I am chronically terrified of losing my home.
And a joiner is like a carpenter basically.

I dont really know why I posted this thread to be honest. I may have been drinking this morning and so feeling a little needy. I am 99.9% sure that noone here can actyually solve this and in reality I need to figure it out myself.

shadow-light is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-07-2016, 09:51 PM   #4
Diesel
 
Diesel's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Location: UK
I am currently:

You mentioned having a breakdown, would you be able to describe this a little?
Also, do you suffer from depression, changes of mood or anything else that stands out at all?

Diesel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-07-2016, 11:46 PM   #5
shadow-light
He was no dragon. Fire cannot kill a dragon
 
shadow-light's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: York
I am currently:

breakdown may be the wrong word, its just the word most people who I know use. It's basically as I described above, I get more and more anxious and restless and start to not think things through and doing things implusively. The few times I've managed to resist this I've ended up becoming emotionally unstable and crying a lot and having mood swings and getting suiocidal impluses. And slight issues with voices, but as I rarely think the voices are real apparently thats not an issue as such (think they called it psydo-psychosis?)

i've never been diagnosed with depression. PTSD but recovered from that, and bulimia but essentially recovered from that. And dissociation and scitzoaffective disorder were discussed but no idea if the diagnosis ever got confirmed/made official. I have a bad track record with psych services, mainly as I move home too often or just drop out of the system by being unreliable or becoming homeless or whatever.

I was under assessment a few months back, was having the EIT come round now and then, but then got an 70 hour a week job for a bit and they couldnt fit me in and decided that if I was managing to work that many hours a week the crisis was obviously over. Which it was and is, I dont think this issue is MH related, I think it's just me, I think I may not fit in with the way society runs

shadow-light is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-07-2016, 12:17 AM   #6
Diesel
 
Diesel's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Location: UK
I am currently:

It's funny you should say that because you have raised some things that I completely relate to, and not fitting into society properly and not being stable and productive or whatever society deems to be the norm is right on the money for me. Your situation is very similar to mine with the exception that it probably takes me a little longer to finally snap and want out of the situation. I definitely blame that problem in my life on my Borderline disorder because there is no rationality to it. When I think back I cannot fully understand how or why I can be in a job I enjoy only to flip the script a few months later and hate it and everyone that I work with to the point where I either get so wound up and stressed that I leave, become ill, or in one instance - get the boot because I haven't been able to control myself. I've only ever left one job/education in the normal way of handing in a notice and working it through. I have almost always spontaneously quit, never to look back. It's very damaging and I feel it's something I have no control over.

Diesel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-07-2016, 10:16 AM   #7
shadow-light
He was no dragon. Fire cannot kill a dragon
 
shadow-light's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: York
I am currently:

I'll admit that I know very little about borderline personaity disorder other than the basics.

But ye, it sounds like you have a similar issue to me. Have you ever found anything that helps with it?

At the moment, now I've had some time to think abou tit, I am wondering if maybe I just need to find the right job. But I dont know, maybe I am just broken or something :P then again if you think about it there is no way that 100% of people fit into the model that society creates, that's why people become self empoloyed or work from home or become things like adventurers, so maybe I just fall into that category and have to find a different way to exist within this workl d

shadow-light is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Members Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Censor is ON
Forum Jump


Sea Pink Aroma
All times are GMT +1. The time now is 05:36 AM.