I'm completely losing it.. I have no friends really, just one now, and she is busy and I can't talk to her anyway. I made a friend, or thought I had but I guess I drover her off. I talked with her last night and I was extremely suicidal and I checked later, ironically it was to apologize and say I was alive that I didn't do anything, but she had deleted me. So now I'm without a friend and I have that pain too, it seems that people disappear when I most need them. She didn't deserve my garbage so I don't blame her, but I'm all kinds of hurt by it. I'm in so much pain and I'm so stressed I feel sick, think I'm going to throw up. I'm all alone. It's been hard, but it's just getting worse lately. Haven't felt good for 6 years now, and I'm 18.... I'm stressed with school just as much as my personal life, I have to apply to colleges and immediately. It isn't just what happens though, I just never feel good even when I know I should, I've no right to.. I have no idea what to do. I'm so alone. ...
"There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness."
-Josh Billings
"Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much."
-Oscar Wilde
Well done fro managing to talk to someone. Thats really good, but I'm so sorry she didn't know how to handle it. We are here to listen if you want a friend :)
Why don't you deserve to be happy? Is there anyone that can help you with applying for collages? OR someone you can talk to about how much you're struggling?
Hey I know it may feel that way at times. But you mentioned your stressed with school work. Does your school have a counsellor person? Or is there a teacher you could talk to. You don't have to tell them everything, just start off with the smaller stuff if your happier with that til you have trust in them?
I know how you feel though. I'm sorry. :( It can be hard. I seem to be lonely a lot of my life. People seem to disappear from me too and it really does hurt. Especially those times when you really need someone. Being here though helps cause I know others have similar experience and just knowing others go through similar things does help and I'm not really alone.
Oh and about the feeling good I'm the same way. I have always felt like I don't deserve nice things for myself and doing nice things for myself. For some reason just don't deserve it. So I can relate with that. But over the past yr I've been trying to slowly do nice things for myself unplanned so I don't really think about it too much. Of course it's afterwards that I start to feel bad. It's a very slow process.... You can't force yourself to feel how you think you should.
Last edited by KittyStar : 09-11-2012 at 06:25 AM.
"Be yourself. Be proud of who you are. Even if it sounds corny don't let no one tell you you aren't beautiful." ~ Eminem
I'm getting married now and still... I'm happy about the marriage, it's a good thing, but I still can't feel altogether good and I can't tell mi esposa about a lot of things.
"There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness."
-Josh Billings
"Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much."
-Oscar Wilde
Why can't you talk to your partner?
Part of love, marriage is about being there - for better or worse - for your partner, and I'm sure she'd want to know what's going on right now.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
We both want to get married and she doesn't want to know, at least not in regards to how bad I feel. As far as where I'm getting married, I have no idea, it is a long ways off and I'm broke, I'm 18 and I'll have to pay for college soon...
"There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness."
-Josh Billings
"Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much."
-Oscar Wilde
I have had a chat with her and thats why I know I can't talk to her. I want to go to Penn State University or Embry Riddle Aeronautical University for aeronautical engineering
"There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness."
-Josh Billings
"Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much."
-Oscar Wilde
I'm alone too. I used to be with my friends everyday, but now they've all left me for other people and I'm not allowed to go with them. No one cares about me. I am completely undeserving of love.
One of my friends got annoyed at me messaging her and posted a Facebook status directed towards me about a person who can't take a hint. I jist wanted someone to talk to. Everyone gets mad at me when I try to talk to them.
