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Old 22-04-2020, 11:19 AM   #441
Cacoethes
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Thanks tamo

Activities aren't really happening at the moment because of the virus
The days feel very long



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 22-04-2020, 11:25 AM   #442
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That must be really difficult. I relied on TV, music and audio books when I was in hospital.



with Christ I hang upon the cross

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Old 22-04-2020, 12:26 PM   #443
Cacoethes
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I've spent most of my days watching TV
I've been allowed to change into my normal clothes today and I'm struggling with it but I don't want to tell them that because I don't want to go back in the seclusion outfit.



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 22-04-2020, 12:33 PM   #444
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I wonder if you and the staff could come up with a plan to help you stay safe without having to have your clothes taken away?

Do you think you would be able to agree to something like a signal that you could pass to staff to show that you're struggling? That if you go to your room you might be unsafe and need extra checks or someone to sit with you?

It might mean making a commitment to yourself to reach out before doing anything, which I know would feel really difficult when there's so much conflict, but it could be worth a shot.

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Old 22-04-2020, 01:20 PM   #445
Cacoethes
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I spoke to staff
Im locked out of my room anyway
She said that if I do anything with my clothes then I'll be back in the seclusion outfit for another week and I really don't want that but I don't think I can stay safe
Everything seems to be getting worse
It took promethazine and lorazepam so I could get to sleep at 3am and I've had to take promethazine today
I feel so trapped



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 22-04-2020, 02:18 PM   #446
one_step_closer
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You don't have to be trapped, you can take some positive and safe control so you can take steps forward. If you really can't stay safe then you have to keep telling staff. If you think you can stay safe with your clothes but it'll be really hard, then still use the staff and use distractions etc.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 22-04-2020, 02:57 PM   #447
Cacoethes
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I'm trying.
Asked to go back to my room but they won't let me
Trying to focus on TV but I'm finding it hard
Feeling a bit spaced out because of the promethazine



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 22-04-2020, 04:16 PM   #448
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How do you 'feel' about being spaced out? Will it help you to stay safe? I know it's not ideal and eventually you'll need to find other ways to settle but it's ok for now if it's helping.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 22-04-2020, 04:21 PM   #449
Cacoethes
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It probably is helping
It's a bit freaky though
Things don't feel real and I've been getting loads of deja vu.
My head won't stop thinking about ways to die.



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 22-04-2020, 05:01 PM   #450
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Could you write them out on your phone and then delete the list once you’ve finished? That could be a way of getting them out of your head. Ir, have you told staff the specifics? (I know you can’t go into detail here, but if you said “my head thinks this, this and this” would that be helpful?

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Old 22-04-2020, 06:26 PM   #451
Cacoethes
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The staff know what's going on
It feels pointless talking to them anymore though
I had an incident so I'm back in the seclusion outfit
Im really pissed off at the staff for stopping me again



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 22-04-2020, 06:49 PM   #452
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It's just going to continue like this Beckie, if you keep doing the same things. No one wants you to be unsafe, including yourself. I don't want to lose another friend to mental illness either. I'm sorry to say it bluntly but you are taking risks that only unwell people would take. Would you maybe have a chat about starting your tablets again when you see a doctor (whenever that is). How are you now?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 22-04-2020, 07:06 PM   #453
Cacoethes
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I was considering starting my meds again
It's difficult though
I'll have to speak to the doctor about it because I don't think I can just restart them at the same dose I was on before.
I'm tired. They threatened injection again so I had to have prn.



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 22-04-2020, 07:49 PM   #454
one_step_closer
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It's ok to have PRN. Do whatever safe things you need. It would be good if you could discuss your meds with a doctor, yes it will take time to get to the right dose for you but at least you could get started on the journey. I'm proud of you for considering it and hope you can see a doctor soon. Do the staff know you're considering it? Maybe they'd make more of an effort to get you seen by a doctor if so.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 22-04-2020, 07:56 PM   #455
Cacoethes
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Thanks lindsay

I haven't spoken to staff about it yet
I'll bring it up tomorrow as it's meant to be my ward round day anyway so the doctor should at least be here



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 22-04-2020, 07:58 PM   #456
one_step_closer
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I really hope you get to speak to the doctor tomorrow. I know you can get through this, I'm sorry it's taking so much time and torture.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 22-04-2020, 08:43 PM   #457
Cacoethes
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Thank you <3

Really hope I can sleep tonight
I am very tired but I was also tired last night and still didn't sleep until 3am.
So sick of being awake



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 22-04-2020, 09:41 PM   #458
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Would anything help you sleep? A hot bath, a milky drink, calming music etc? Obviously you might be limited to what you're allowed because of wires and things, but those are things that usually help me sleep.

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Old 22-04-2020, 10:19 PM   #459
Cacoethes
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There's no bath here but I have just had a hot chocolate.
Could play music on my phone.
I'm not allowed in my room still even though I want to try and sleep. It's so cruel



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 22-04-2020, 10:23 PM   #460
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They’re just trying to keep you safe. I know its frustrating, especially since you’re tired. Could you tell staff you want to go to bed?

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