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Old 08-07-2018, 12:59 PM   #1
Sock
 
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struggling.. loads

Im not sure what to type here. title says it all.
So much has changed since the last time i posted here
its gone pretty bad
im geting help though, seeing therpaist, doctor, taking medication
nothings helping, not yet anyway
dunno what im after here, some support?



You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, then you have a shot at a silver lining
'Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life'
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”



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Old 08-07-2018, 01:13 PM   #2
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It's really good you're getting help. I know it's not a comforting thing to hear and doesn't help things in the meantime, but maybe you just need to give things a bit more time.

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Old 08-07-2018, 01:22 PM   #3
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i know, im giving it time. i am doing for the people i care about even though they dont know about anything. i feel bad for letting things get this way, i was getting better before this.



You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, then you have a shot at a silver lining
'Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life'
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”



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Old 08-07-2018, 01:29 PM   #4
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..... erm......


The following content has been hidden - Reason : trigger/ashamed
i was sexually assaulted by my now ex- he left me apparently wasnt good enough for him . i wasin denial about the assault until he left me



You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, then you have a shot at a silver lining
'Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life'
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”



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Old 08-07-2018, 01:30 PM   #5
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That's a good reason to keep going. Sometimes things happen and escalate without meaning to but at least you're trying to move forward and doing something about it now, that's what matters. You were getting better before so there's no reason why you can't get to that stage again. You can do it. =)

Edit: Posted at the same time. I'm so sorry that happened to you but it's not your fault. You're better off without him in your life... He's gone and the only way is forward. And it's not that you weren't good enough - he was too rubbish for you!

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Old 08-07-2018, 09:12 PM   #6
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thanks for replying
im trying to be positive about it, that it'll be over soon and i'll feel ok but i cant stop blaming myself for all of this. i make the same mistake over and over.
being ahumans hard right now, basic stuff like cleaning, eating etc and then theres work that ive been avoiding but they'll notice sooner or lter so cant get away with it
theres no easy way out of this, trying to numb my brain and not think about any of the stuff but i cant and ihave nigtmares and its awful but i cant tell no one (other tahn therapist) so ive got to pretend to be ok and its draining



You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, then you have a shot at a silver lining
'Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life'
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”



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Old 08-07-2018, 09:26 PM   #7
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Well you know you can talk to everyone here.

Pretending to be ok is draining, but you don't have to pretend. Is there no one at all you can open up to?

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Old 09-07-2018, 03:17 AM   #8
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Theres noone. Im too ashamed

Cant sleep, its all too painful. Im not sure how much longer i can be strong for. Im hurting. Want to be gone but wont be fair on my family.



You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, then you have a shot at a silver lining
'Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life'
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”



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Old 10-07-2018, 03:32 PM   #9
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How often do you see your therapist? Would it be possible to increase contact with them for a bit while you're going through this? There are telephone and email helplines too if you felt able to contact them. It's hard to hide everything and try to be strong, things build up. It's important that you find a safe way to offload and work through things. Does writing help at all?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 11-07-2018, 03:46 PM   #10
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i see her once a week. not possible to see her more. I see my gp once a week too. theres not much more they can do to help. I'm taking some time off work in a few weeks. i dont know if that would help as i will be travelling to my mums for that time which means no support from gp or therapist during that time.
everything is really crappy right now and theres nothing i can do. writing sort of helps. my therapist has asked me to write stuff and draw more because im suppressing everything. i dont even know if it makes sense but i categorise my ex and abuser together and hearing about him is triggering, even if someone who doesnt know we're not together asks how he is doing it upsets me.
thinking about it all is hard. i cant do it.its so hard seeing the therpaist too. i cant talk so i write stuff for her during the session. seems like im wasting so much of our time together.



You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, then you have a shot at a silver lining
'Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life'
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”



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Old 11-07-2018, 07:12 PM   #11
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You're having to face up to so much and also at the same time trying not to face up to things because they hurt. I can understand what you mean about categorising those people together and it must be difficult when people bring things up. How do you cope when that happens, because I'm guessing if people don't know you have split up then they may mention him? You're not wasting time with your therapist, it's hard to look at things and to open up, it takes time and trust. Writing stuff for your therapist is a really good start, I used to do that a lot and it took me years to manage to just say things. After a while I started reading out to my therapist what I had written, maybe you could try that when you feel more able.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 13-07-2018, 10:18 AM   #12
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i havent left the house in 3 days. i feel too dirtyto leave and be seen . i dont want it to happen again. i dont want to make it happen again. im really finding things difficult



You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, then you have a shot at a silver lining
'Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life'
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”



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Old 13-07-2018, 06:38 PM   #13
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That sounds scary and like things are making you really anxious. I can see why you are feeling this way. Is there anyone who can support you to leave the house and gradually get back into things?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 13-07-2018, 08:28 PM   #14
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I managed to drive to the shops for some food earlier. That wasnt bad but it was in and out. I cant have people looking at me. Cant tell anyone. Im going to have to keep trying on my own. I dont want to make things worse



You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, then you have a shot at a silver lining
'Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life'
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”



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Old 14-07-2018, 01:17 PM   #15
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Well done, that's still something. I meant to say in my last post that you didn't make anything happen, since you said "I don't want to make it happen again." What do you think might happen if you asked for support, how would it risk making things worse? Keep trying, you are strong.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 24-07-2018, 09:29 PM   #16
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I feel angry. I don't know why i feel angry. I just do. I cant do anything with the anger. It just stays in me.
I got an email from a safety officer at uni suggesting i see the uni counselling services because of a recent anxiety attack. That made me more angry. Especially because I dont know this person so its not right for them to email me. I know how to look after me. I dont need no person ive never met telling me they want to support me.



You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, then you have a shot at a silver lining
'Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life'
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”



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Old 24-07-2018, 09:30 PM   #17
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I think i need to sleep early. I can sense things getting worse.



You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, then you have a shot at a silver lining
'Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life'
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”



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Old 25-07-2018, 03:19 PM   #18
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How are you today? It sounds like people are concerned but I can understand your anger at being contacted by someone who you don't know and who doesn't know you. What do you think about the suggestion of seeing a uni counsellor?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 31-07-2018, 12:54 PM   #19
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Im at my mums for a few weeks. Safer here but not when im completely alone, thats when it gets tough.
Im expecting a call from my gp this week. Im nearly out of medication shes supposed to sort that. I dont care about getting the medication. Theyre not helping anymore.



You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, then you have a shot at a silver lining
'Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life'
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”



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Old 31-07-2018, 04:58 PM   #20
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Thanks jinxie. Means a lot

Major arguments kicking off at home. Im not part of it.. Yet. Its scary. I dont deal well with fights. Im scared



You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, then you have a shot at a silver lining
'Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life'
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”



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