i have no idea what to do about this....
me and my gf are spending christmas with her family this year as mine are up in leeds and we are in london.
the thing is we will also be spending christmas with my gf abuser as its her cousin.....and everyone goes round to her grans on christmas day) he has recently moved back to his mums because his wife has kicked him out or something...i tend not to take notice when people talk about him as id rather just kill him for what he's done. we have stopped going round there.....
my gf had told her mum what had happened at the time and i have recently found out that he did the same to her sister...(yet this was brushed under the carpet and nothing done about it) even now my gf is too scared to go to the police....wont talk to me about it but i have read her story on another support website for sexual abuse survivors....
he came round to our house tonight (we live with my gf parents) we didnt even know he was coming round........she went to get a drink from downstairs and she came straight back upstairs and clung to me......she thinks he can still abuse her.....(he abused her when everybody was in the next room before)
my main concern at the moment is my gf.......how will she cope having to spend hristmas with him?
i am a sexual abuse survivor myself and know what it is to see an abuser (mine was a family membe who i lived with) and i know how hard it is and what she must be feeling....
and i dont know if i can cope with being all nice and pretending nothing ever happened like everyone else!
its going to be hard for both of us.......i dont know if i can actually spend the whole day with him......it makes me sick thinking about it.....i have flashbacks from my abuse and my gf helps me through them....and i know that on christmas day she wont be able to help me with them due to the fact that she will have all thsi to cope with....
i dont know what to do for the best....
do i tell her i dont want us to spend christmas with her family (i know she wants to due to her gran being in her 90's and very frail)
do i try and convince her to do our own christmas at her parents house (which i know her mum wont be happy about as it would be the first xmas she doesnt spend with them)
or
do i go along and try and act like nothing has happened???
i really dont know....