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what do i do now?
dear everyone,
it's been ages since i've been on ryl, and i never spent too much time in the ed forum, even though i have had an ed since long ago.
but i really need help.
please?
it was always my big secret. never quite bad enough to need treatment, but controlling my life anyway. when people/counselors gave me grief about self harm, or depression, i always knew i could fall back on my ed. and get away with it.
short story....
it's almost a year since my partner died. i found him in our house after work. i was --kg at the time and lost to --kg in the next six months.
after six months i can barely remember, i wanted to get better, i wanted to survive.
yay, right?
but in the past six months i have put on --kg. it is at the point where i can't cope. it is dragging me back into a depression i have fought so hard to get out of. i can handle a bit more weight, but this is too much.
i have a counselor, and have been referred to a dietician and cbt specialist, but i am still waiting for help.
i really can handle a bit more weight. i really do want to get better. but as i got more and more unhappy, i kept pushing it aside in that whole "i want to get better...it's fine..." way. but there's a point at which i have ballooned beyond what is healthy mentally or physically.
what do i do?
i am waiting for all the professionals here in my town can offer...
any suggestions in the meantime?
love penelope xo
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