Hi everyone,
I volunteer at a crisis text line and I find myself in conversation with people who are struggling with self harm. I have a lot of personal experience with mental distress like depression and anxiety, but self harm isn't a path my brain ever took me down.
So I can identify with the broad emotions of it, but not self harm specifically. But I want to learn and support the people I talk to who are in pain. So if anyone here feels like sharing, here are some things I'm wondering about:
What does it feel like when you want to start hurting yourself? What triggers it?
What do you need when you are cutting but want to stop? Distraction? Someone to listen?
For me there are many emotions and factors that result in me hurting myself. I guess it’s a coping mechanism I’ve used to help with low moods or anxiety. Although sometimes it becomes like punishment. I feel I deserve it. Sometimes it’s just habitual and I have no reason that I can pinpoint.
Distractions are hard and don’t always help me.
Sadly I’ve not recovered, but maybe others here can share their stories.
Cutting for me has been the need for a physical pain and something I can look at and feel when I'm overwhelmed but can't do anything about it like at work or out. I tend to cut ironically when I'm not feeling at my worst or overwhelmed but once the intense feelings subside or when I know I'm going into a situation when they'll be unbearable. As horrible as it sounds, I also like people to see what I've done, to prove how much I'm struggling and hurting. I've always struggled with people, professionals and friends, simply not believing how bad I feel because I'm rational and articulate, and incapable of falling apart externally. What helps and what I think I personally need is someone willing to simply aknowledge I feel like hell, it's serious and what I'm doing to myself is serious. Not suggest things to help or to distract or that they've felt like this when... or how do I think they felt when x happened to them. I'd just like the focus to be on me and my pain and accepting that, even just for a few minutes or hours before trying to solve it or dismiss it.
Sorry, that turned in to a bit of a self indulgent rant! It's fantastic you're helping people in this way and wanting to learn about the reality of what people are experiencing 😊
For me when i was harming distractions proved very unworthy activities are unworthy to me anyway and when you are in the mist of self harming you can barely think “lets grab of coffee or tea’ then even consider reading a book. What helped through that period was a huge amount of sleep to help me forget and listening to music to block out what was going through my mind and cope with feelings and emotions. I gave up on distractions for my mental health/wellbeing and for physical health etc years ago band thankfully i have never loooed back and another when you are in crap state you do not have the mental capacity to concentrate on abnything and combined with the physical pain/fatigue distracting can prove excessively diffficult.
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
What does it feel like when you want to start hurting yourself? What triggers it?
It was usually a very strong urge. Almost a feeling of panic, like if I didn't do something my brain was going to explode and my world was going to crumble. For me anything could be a trigger but mostly it was thinking about situations where I felt some type of guilt or situations/comments that made me feel worthless.
What do you need when you are cutting but want to stop? Distraction? Someone to listen?*
Someone who understood, didn't judge, showed complete acceptance might have helped.
What, if anything, has helped you recover?
Starting antidepressants, learning to love myself, joining a Bible study group and really learning about self worth.
Forget the risk and take the fall if it's what you want it's worth it all
I guess stevel left us, but anyway: What does it feel like when you want to start hurting yourself? What triggers it? It feels like it’s something like hole inside, something that needs to be mended. I’m anxious and often shaking. A warm thing that grows inside my belly and juts needs to get out.
When I cut I get take on top of the this emptiness and I can get totally blank, everything goes away and I stop thinking – just get blank.
Triggers are. Stress, emotional strong feelings (negative or positive) being by myself – just longing for the sensation.
What do you need when you are cutting but want to stop? Distraction? Someone to listen? Distraction or tiring myself, postpone it so long that it’s not worth it. Getting tiered and not wanting to take care of the mess. Non-judgemental talks could probably help, never tried it
What, if anything, has helped you recover? I went to psychodynamic therapy and it worked all right. Not that I stopped, by I’m not panicked about my cuttings anymore (except when they get out of control)
Hi everyone,
I volunteer at a crisis text line and I find myself in conversation with people who are struggling with self harm. I have a lot of personal experience with mental distress like depression and anxiety, but self harm isn't a path my brain ever took me down.
So I can identify with the broad emotions of it, but not self harm specifically. But I want to learn and support the people I talk to who are in pain. So if anyone here feels like sharing, here are some things I'm wondering about:
What does it feel like when you want to start hurting yourself? What triggers it?
So, first of all I think that it is so great, that you are wanting to understand this more and help people through it. Keep in mind, that it is not the same for every person, what helps amd doesn't help varies and how it feels is very different. Also, the reasons a person may SH varies. When I want to start hurting myself, I just feel the need to, because all I remember is how it feels so good when I do it, I don't think about the scars, or how it will affect anyone else, I just feel the need to do it. So, it is really hard to resist the urges, because it is pretty much all I can think about. It honestly depends on the day what triggers it, fights with my parents, high stress situations, and seeing sharp objects are some things that trigger the urges.
What do you need when you are cutting but want to stop? Distraction? Someone to listen?
I usually first need to talk to someone about it, and then after I talk about it, I just need a distraction.
What, if anything, has helped you recover?
I have not yet recovered, but sometimes snapping an elastic band on my wrist helps the urges.
Thanks in advance, I appreciate it :]
I never did self harm to myself but I did experience depression and anxiety. I did have thoughts of suicide and killing myself. But I think those suicidal thoughts are triggered of me overthinking that i will have a dead-end life. You see, I don't really have a support system. My family just argues all the time. I don't have a good relationship with my sibling, and my friends are all busy. There's no one to talk to really. I work online so I'm just isolated from everyone basically.
