Stupid Doll

[Rilic]

I have a stupid doll,
That cries throughout the night,
That tears itself apart,
But insists everything's alright.

My stupid doll will stare,
At mirrors on the wall,
But the reflection looking back,
Is an empty shell of my doll.

The stupid doll is weak,
Is screamed at, hurt and hit,
But it never makes a sound,
Never fights back one bit.

Stupid doll just blames itself,
For all the hate it receives,
Somethings it did, some it didn't,
But always wrong, it believes.

Stupid doll now hates itself,
What an evil thing it must be,
To create such anger in others,
To create so much anger in me.

This stupid doll is mine,
And I hate how it sits and stares,
I couldn't protect it, keep it safe,
Not even in sleep from the nightmares.

I hate my stupid doll,
For being a doll, and being mine,
I wasn't responsible enough
I thought it's turn out fine.

But when they screamed awful things
I stood by and watched
When they took violent swings
I stood by and watched

When my doll cried at night
I stood by and watched
When it cowered in fright
I stood by and watched

And when it got scarily thin
I stood by and watched
When another wanted to play
I stood by and watched

He touched my doll in bad ways
I stood be and watched
My doll was breaking down
I stood by and watched

And pill after pill went down
I stood be and watched

Reality crumbled
I stood by and watched
My doll fumbled
I stood by and watched

My doll was speaking to someone
Who didn't call it stupid doll
I realised I'd watched too long
My stupid doll wasn't mine anymore.

[Sooty]

I like how you've repeated the 'I stood by and watched' line... creating almost a racing in your poem I read it faster and faster until the last stanza. I'm not sure if the 'stupid doll' is a part of you or represents a different person but I hope that if this is a reflection on reality in some way that the doll is helped and finds peace.

Sophie.x

[Buttons.]

Interesting.

[Rilic]

Thank you.
Sooty, I wrote thinking of the doll as my child-self, my developing personality/identity, and "stupid doll" because instead of growing into the person I should have been, I let everything and everyone get on top of me, and I just let things happen rather than fighting back, and attacked myself for doing that.

[bobbygirl]

Such an interesting poem. Good job. :)

[small light]

Wow, amazing..... really powerful