Can't get the help I need from the professionals-Budget cuts etc! :(
Okay i'll try to keep this as short as possible to explain if i can.
Basically I have Bipolar but its mostly under control unless I have a trigger-last sept I had a trigger that sent me straight back to my past and I fell straight into a BP low where I was stuck for at least 6 months,I was desperate,didn't care about myself,had to be signed off work etc etc.
I got referred back to the adult mental health services in my area,they assessed me then put me on a list for anxiety management,psychology-one to one counselling,group therapy and poss CBT.
So the first thing that came to top of list pretty quick was anxiety management,i tried i saw her for 6 sessions,I learnt one technique that has helped-apart from that it wasn't helpful.
I then got a call about group therapy-I explained that I would find that too difficult due to adhd probs and also because i personally know it would be too much for me to listen to other people's stories as well as my own in that sort've situation,I stressed that I really just need one to one counselling. (having been in and out of the services since the age of 11 I think that I know what I need by now-I need to talk about my past with a trained individual which I have been avoiding for a long time but with my friends encouraging me i'm finally at a place I know I must talk.
I explained this to the lady she said that was fine and that they would keep me on the list for a psychologist.
I waited and waited....
In the meantime I got to some very desperate places,my G.P was helpless but doing her best my friends the same it was really bad :(
This year a friend found me a number for MIND and also the R**e Crisis Centre.
I have been going to MIND for about 2 months whilst I was waiting on list for other services.
I have tried and its not working either because its coping skills and how to deal with my triggers etc,its just not doing anything and I know now why that is and its cause I'm doing it the wrong way round! plus not to sound bad but I have already done all this,I know what triggers me,I know what i'm supposed to do I get it but sometimes I just can't put it into place.
I feel like theirs nothing else they can tell me at this point to manage myself.
I contacted R**e crisis-that was the hardest thing I ever had to do but I did about a month ago,now i'm on a year long waiting list for them :( I contacted all the other centres like them that my friend kindly printed off and I was told everything from you're out of our area,to yes in a years time,to we can't see you as we only deal with 1 specific thing.
In amongst all that I rang adult services up and i'm sorry to swear but they ****ed up big style and had discharged me off their list by accident!!! I was so upset its actually made me a lot worse lately because of all these professionals.
The last thing I tried was to contact HCC counselling service (i work in a school) but the lady said i'm not telling you to go away (erm yes!) but we aren't equipped to deal with you and suggested MIND!.
So basically i'm just so lost and I feel like all the services that can get to me right now can't deal with me because i'm too complex and the ones i really need that can help me I can't see for another year or have cocked up and taken me off the list I just can't take much more of dealing with these people really. :(
Its so ironic as well cause when I was a child I basically had the services on tap and I hated and didn't want them but now i'm an adult and have finally got to a point i know I need to talk about things properly because of stupid budget cuts i'm on my own and at the moment i'm rapid cycling and i really feel that this lot have aided in triggering that how typical!
any suggestions welcome?
sorry its so long! x
p.s i know their are phone lines but i've also tried those before.I literally feel like i've exhausted my options and my dr doesn't want to up my meds at the moment for fear of making things worse :( x