Relapse after 3 years and 3 months

[brightnights]

Hi

I haven't been here in years, I haven't needed to which was good but I have had a little slip up after just over three years. The stress of the final year at university became too much after six months and I did self-harm again, although nothing much, but I gave in and did it after so long.

The worst part will be telling the boyfriend - he will see it, and best friend that after so long I gave in. That and not doing it again are my biggest worries. I don't know how to get rid of my stress in any other way, which is particularly bad at such a stressful time in my life - I never developed any other way of relieving myself of stress, I just never let myself self-harm.

Any suggestions of alternative stress relievers and how to break the news of this relapse would be most welcome. I really do not want to see how disappointed in me they are.

Thanks

[Pi.R^2]

A slip up doesn't have to be a relapse. You've managed 3 years and three months and nothing will take away from that achievement.

I'd recommend telling your boyfriend and best friend about it as soon as possible, as they're the ones that will be able to support you and help you stop this turning into a relapse. They might also be willing to help you explore safer ways of relieving stress. If you phrase it in a way that you slipped up but want don't want to slip up again and want their help to prevent any more slip-ups, do you really think they will be disappointed in you? Getting straight back up after a fall is one of the bravest things you can do, and they ought to be proud of you!

[brightnights]

Thanks for that, will try to talk to them today. I do just hate with this is after doing it resetting the clock back to zero and starting all over again, but thanks helped give me a little confidence boost to tell them.

[Patent Pending]

Sorry to hear you slipped up; but try not to let it take away from how far you got. It was an amazing achievement and I'm sure you can do it again - however this time I think it'd be important for you to impliment other stress relieving techniques.

There are lots of things which can help when you're feeling stressed; relaxing in a bath/shower, watching a calming movie, listening to calming music [or if you need something to get stress out of you heavy, loud music can help], punching a pillow, exercising, singing along to music, ripping up paper, scribbling on paper etc.

I would try some of those or any you can think of; write them down and whether they work or not - then keep the list somewhere for when you're stressed again.

And I agree with the above; telling people who can support you is a key step too.

Take care.

x x x

[PassedExpectations]

how are you doing? did you manage to tell your friend and boyfriend? i hope that they were understanding if you did.

instead of thinking of it as starting over when i slip up, and seeing it like i've thrown everything i've worked for out, i look at it as in to one urge out of hundreds... yeah, you gave in, but that doesn't have to negate all the other times you didn't. think of it like a soccer game, the other team might score a goal, but that doesn't mean that the match is over and reset to the beginning, it just means that your team has to keep winning more goals