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Old 08-10-2008, 03:58 AM   #861
Ivy
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Lack of identity is a symptom.
In other news, I feel like complete crap.
I completely disassociated and wrecked my arm. :\



I hope we all find peace among the storm.


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Old 08-10-2008, 04:01 AM   #862
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Awww.

I'm triggered right now but I'm trying to focus on homework, or at least the presidential debate... not food or razors.

And I'm on here on the F&D forum.

And I hope you feel better soon.

Did you clean and bandage your arm?


Last edited by SaraKerosene : 08-10-2008 at 04:02 AM. Reason: Forgot part of post


"When the going gets tough, the tough get going."

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Old 08-10-2008, 09:49 AM   #863
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hey guys... so i'm back here again. I was diagnosed with BPD when i was in hospital last, but my normal psychiatrist hasn't diagnosed me with anything.
But yeh.. i feel like they were twisting things to make me fit into the criteria, yes i self harm, yes i have paranoia, but none of the relationship stuff.. i mean i'm in a relationship which isn't good for me, but that's it.
I have in the past been diagnosed with recurrent depression with self harm, which i feel fits better.. just waiting to see what this doctor decides. She said she's leaning towards the BPD though.



~~I'm FINE...on the outside~~
~~Beneath the surface lies a shattered heart and an exhausted soul, simply longing... just longing to be whole~~


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Old 08-10-2008, 11:55 AM   #864
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I had a good day yesterday the first in over a year and I suddenly felt scared yesterday eve, like I had lost something. I was frightened that if I go into the residential therapy clinic and they cure my BPD that I won't have anyone to support me anymore and I will be on my own. I'm all to familier with my problems and a solution sounds more scary suddenly than the problems themselves



"I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same too so we are not that different you and I.

You'll be surprised to know how far you can go from the point where you thought it was the end.




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Old 08-10-2008, 01:26 PM   #865
Bleeding Angel
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I think everyone has that fear about getting better, that they suddenly will lose everything that makes you, you. Even once you do recover you will still need support to stay recovered.

But with any mental illness you dont have to match all of the criteria.

Anyway im getting worried now, i have this self-harm group in an hours time and im terrified. I guess im more worried its going to trigger me.





"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"


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Old 08-10-2008, 01:53 PM   #866
Aamanee
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am starting to think that am coming off as cold to people
that i make no expresstions at all to them

it just i dont feel anything at all when i do feel anything i cant cope with it
i dont know what is better not feeling at all or feeling to much

Aamanee



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Old 08-10-2008, 02:41 PM   #867
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Tomorrowwillcome - i found when i left residential, that though i am much better than before, i have got given far and away more support now than i had before. which is bizarre, but often the way of it.

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Old 08-10-2008, 04:34 PM   #868
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bleeding Angel View Post
Anyway im getting worried now, i have this self-harm group in an hours time and im terrified. I guess im more worried its going to trigger me.
I hope it went ok & didn't trigger you. I've never been to a specific group for self harmers but I can completely see where you are coming from, I would be worried about being triggered too. -Hugs-.

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Old 08-10-2008, 06:19 PM   #869
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How'd it go, Mari?

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Old 09-10-2008, 02:08 AM   #870
lovelybones
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I thought I was starting to grow out of my BPD, but I'm not. I'm starting to get those feelings of emptiness again. I haven't felt like this in almost three years.

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Old 09-10-2008, 10:40 AM   #871
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I'm constantly paranoid that I've pissed everyone off and all my friends will leave me. But the problem is, I then think I've pissed them off by asking them have I pissed them off which makes me go back to square one.

I feel weird though because it's become routine now so it feels like it's a normal feeling. Is it?

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Old 09-10-2008, 10:52 AM   #872
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maybe you could explain to your friends why you're worried they're pissed off with you. and explain that sometimes you just get a bit paranoid. sometimes it can be helpful to talk things through, be honest and to check things out.

lovelybones, sometimes it can be hard to grow out of BPD because it can be such a deep-rooted, all-encompassing difficulty. often the "growing out" comes with life experience - people who are older sometimes find they have learned more coping mechanisms and therefore find their symptoms decrease (though this is certainly not always the case). i think it's fair to say that if you haven't found ways to cope with stress, or if you haven't been able to work through the underlying reasons for your BPD, then the experiences may worsen at times, or under stress. xxx

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Old 09-10-2008, 11:08 AM   #873
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I'm having a struggle keeping quiet the bad side of my head, I'm trying to study and all I've got is this damn voice in my head telling me how useless I am and how there is no point as I don't have the intellegence to do succeed. I wish I could drown it out.


As to growing out of BPD although I have only been diagnosed 8 months, I can see throuout my life there have been periods where it has effected me loads and periods of quiet, I am at a period now where it is stronger than it has ever been. That sounds a bit negative I'm afraid



"I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same too so we are not that different you and I.

You'll be surprised to know how far you can go from the point where you thought it was the end.




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Old 10-10-2008, 02:16 AM   #874
lovelybones
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Yeah, it kind of phases in and out for me. As does everything bad, it seems.
Right now, it's really strong, definitely not a good thing.
But I'm trying to cope in a healthy manner.
I haven't self harmed in seven weeks, so yeah.

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Old 10-10-2008, 01:45 PM   #875
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The group wasnt great to be honest, it was really lame





"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"


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Old 10-10-2008, 01:54 PM   #876
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In what way?

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Old 10-10-2008, 06:50 PM   #877
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a bunch of people sitting around talking about it isnt fun





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Old 10-10-2008, 07:04 PM   #878
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Not fun, no. But maybe useful once you feel more comfortable there and start talking about stuff.
How were the other people there?

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Old 10-10-2008, 07:40 PM   #879
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If funding is agreed I will have to do group therapy while receiving DBT. I also have social anxiety so group therapy sessions are a bit scary. so what does happen in this situations. Any advice would be good.



"I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same too so we are not that different you and I.

You'll be surprised to know how far you can go from the point where you thought it was the end.




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Old 13-10-2008, 09:33 PM   #880
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I have my psych appointment tomorrow, I'm freaking out >.<



"You might say its self-inflicted but you see that's contradictive - why on earth would anyone practice self destruction?"


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