I have never said that because its a minority your opinion will be ignored, I find that a bit offensive that you think ive said something like that :/]
I didn't mean you specifically love. If I had an issue with *you* I would PM not make comments in the open.
It's a reflection of how I feel regarding the moderating team as a whole. Just happened to be quoting you - sorry for the confusion.
Now, I am not sure adding another board would actually solve anything, but as I said, on the other forum, people know it is a privilege and as such generally treat people better.. it may not change a thing, but it also might make the community closer, as becoming a member of that hypothetical section would give people a clear goal to work towards, therefore making them think about their actions before typing a snarky reply or what have you.
Would that not make the whole 'clique' thing worse? People would post for support on the restricted board, reply there and the support levels outside of it might suffer. And the people not on the restricted board would feel like outsiders and might get less replies/support.
Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future
that year by year recedes before us.
It eluded us then, but that's no matter - tomorrow we
will run faster, stretch out our arms further...
And one fine morning - So we beat on, boats against the current,
borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Would that not make the whole 'clique' thing worse? People would post for support on the restricted board, reply there and the support levels outside of it might suffer. And the people not on the restricted board would feel like outsiders and might get less replies/support.
I suppose it -could- but it also -could- improve things. I know on this other board, that is not what happened, fwiw. Obviously this other forum and RYL are quite different, but.
We'll never know, because I'm sure this hypothetical board will never happen.
Also, I'm certainly not in any of these supposed cliques, but I don't feel like I couldn't get support or make friends with people because of that.
If anything, I myself would be an 'outsider' as it is, because I never really post much (1,098 posts since 2005), and many of the people I spoke to back in 2005 have moved on. I also don't really fit in much because I am basically recovered from cutting and rarely talk about myself.
Does that make me feel like I shouldn't come on here? No.
Does it stop me from doing what I can for people? No.
Do I feel like my threads don't get a ton of replies? Sure, but I understand why. I don't offer support on the boards much, for one. Also they are not urgent topics or anything timely.
Do the replies I do get mean a lot to me? Of course! I don't see why the volume of replies should matter. It is the time and effort and thought behind them that does..
And in my time on here (mainly lurking, lol), I can definitively say that every reply has meaning. Even the ones that basically just say *hugs* or something, someone is thinking of you and probably doesn't know what to say.. but they still care and want to support you.
I know that there are some groups of people that know each other better, but I'm not sure I'd call them cliques, really, as they do offer support to people outside their group.
And now I've sort of lost my train of thought.. so I'm going to stop.
I think that if we did have a board with less rules and we were allowed to post more triggering stuff, it would be difficult to draw a line at what is allowed. Then if we said that pretty much anything is allowed that could take things much too far, even for people who think they are stable enough to read it.
Also, what about the people that want to be triggered, its so easy to pretend that doesnt happen but there are many people on here who will also look at pro sites, they might start using the restricted section of the board as a version of a pro site, to deliberately trigger themselves and post graphically and encourage each other. Within more relaxed rules this would be difficult to stop.
I dont think restricting entry to a section of the site is very fair, there might be brand new members who really need that section of the site and would benefit from it who couldnt get in and at the same time members who have been around for ages who would still abuse it.
I dont see the problem with things the way they are, really, sometimes I like to post more outside the rules, but i guess if i really felt strongly about that i would go to a pro site and post it there instead, here isnt necessarily the right place for these things.
"this is the room where you don't have to be brave"
I think the benefits outweigh the negatives (most of which are easily solved).
I'd be interested to hear the points behind these please Jodie :)
Points might be the wrong word - basically, I'm interested in hearing the solutions, but also the view of the benefits outweighing the negatives and particularly those as you see them, as I've heard you feeling like the unheard minority in this which is not the case, we're listening to you (..reading you ^_^) xxx
Mwahaaa, I'm in your head Aimee *spooky voice* You can heaaaar me.
Okay. I'm running on about 2 hours sleep so I will do my best here. I may have to edit later
CONS
- People way get unnecessarily triggered by going onto the subforum/thread [Will encourage personal responsibility which is much needed. If they are clicking it to be triggered, then they are prolly going to other sites to do the same too]
- Hard to moderate/where is the line? [I suggest a new moderator. Start training before the forum/thread is up and then have the section on a trial basis with the same fundamentals of RYL (no bullying/numbers/bullshit) but allow a certain freedom with topics.]
PROS
- Benefit a significant portion of RYL who feel they would gain positively from have a pace that is less censored.
- Encourage expression of difficult feelings and thoughts without having to worry about 'allowed or not' - no stifling of freedom of expression/thought.
- A place the confront thoughts and feelings that would be considered 'glamorising' by some. If you ignore it and don't express it for fear of being told off then that's only unhealthy.
[I will come back to this. I'm honestly about to pass out from sleepiness. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......]
Also, what about the people that want to be triggered, its so easy to pretend that doesnt happen but there are many people on here who will also look at pro sites, they might start using the restricted section of the board as a version of a pro site, to deliberately trigger themselves and post graphically and encourage each other. Within more relaxed rules this would be difficult to stop.
If they want to do it, they will find a way. That's their problem and everyone else shouldn't have to change to suit them.
There is a huge difference between being 'pro' and being open. 'Pro' would be saying that self-harm is an excellent coping mechanism. I don't think anyone who has posted on here about this could be classed as being 'pro'. We all think that self-harm is not only not helping to deal with your problems but adding more on top. We take a more mature attitude to it, but it is not pro.
If they want to do it, they will find a way. That's their problem and everyone else shouldn't have to change to suit them.
There is a huge difference between being 'pro' and being open. 'Pro' would be saying that self-harm is an excellent coping mechanism. I don't think anyone who has posted on here about this could be classed as being 'pro'. We all think that self-harm is not only not helping to deal with your problems but adding more on top. We take a more mature attitude to it, but it is not pro.
Totally agree with you there, We handle things in a mature way on the R & V board and always have done, but we are far from "Pro- ani" or "pro - SH". The Mods, I understand do have a very difficult job. But surely 9-out-of-ten of us usually only post in our topic on the R/V Boards anyway unless asked to comment on another.
I do honestly think trhe Morderation of the RV board has gotten out of hand and I do think it is a problem we should all address, but in-fighting and everything else is NOT the way to do it..
Don’t get too close, It’s dark inside.
It’s where my demons hide, It’s where my demons hide.
PointeLullaby and Posh Little Rich Girl are my Sisters, Acto808 is my brother wigglemuffin is my invasion buddy, ~ PM ME IF You Need Me :P ~
I do understand that it is your own problem if you decide to read triggering posts deliberately and that most people that post in there are not pro anything but i was thinking more if it became either a restricted section of the site or if the rules got much more relaxed, neither of which i think are all that necessary though i personally would benefit from the rules being relaxed more i dont think that needs to happen here, i think what the board does now serves its purpose well.
(also HBC is beautiful)
"this is the room where you don't have to be brave"
I've been a member of another site where there isn't a ranting/venting board or similar, you can't even state in what way you've self injured, i.e. cutting/burning/hitting etc in support threads. Which I feel really stunts people's ability to express themselves.
I feel it would be detrimental to members if there were less openness for fear of being seen as pro.
