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Old 18-12-2007, 09:21 AM   #1
still hurting
 
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: USA
Triggering (SI) - hating wanting to cut

i hate this so much, here i am at 3am lying in bed wanting to sleep but i can cuz i want to cut so badly it's all i can think of. but i cant i'm going to stop, i need to, and even if i cant i still cant cut now, i'm home on break, my parents cant know it's still happening, i'm going to india in a week and a half with a class, i cant cut i cant be sent home or let those people know. but all i want to do is cut, nothing's wrong, at least not anything too specifiv right now, i'm just trying to deal with everything that happened this semester, but i should be happy and relaxed now, and i am, i just want to cut, sooooooooooo badly, i want to cut or burn or die i want to close my eyes and hold my breath and make a wish and never wake up, but i cant do that so now i just want to cut, i want to bleed, a lot.

what is wrong with me, i hate cutting, i hate who i am, i think this is dumb and gross and sad, but i need it i need it so badly, and i love it i loev it as much as i hate it i'm a mess.



"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles" ~Charlie Chaplin

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Old 18-12-2007, 09:48 AM   #2
butterfly525
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Maryland, USA
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I know the feeling. But please just try to stay strong and not cut, until the urge passes. You will be glad in the morning that you didn't do it. And like you said, you will be risking a lot if you cut. It's not worth it just for that momentary release.

Just try to go to sleep, or if you really can't do that, then read a book or listen to music for a bit.

Stay strong and take care hun. *hugs*



Laura


"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." ~Mother Theresa


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