Triggering (SI) - Caught off guard... Might be triggering not sure tho...
Yesterday I went to the Trinity College open day with a few lads from the school... I decided to wear short sleeves cause I couldnt be arsed hiding my scars anymore... A good few of the people I went with knew I SI but on the train on the way we were all hyper, havin a laff and talkin bout random things and one guy just sed "a question : are you cuttin yer arms?" It went COMPLETELY silent... I really hadnt expected anyone to bring it up and I wasnt expectin it but that question kinda ruined my day cause it was all I could think bout... Every time I was with the guy for the rest of the day I wanted to hide my arms but I didnt have any sleeves... Twas sooo awkward on the train caus a few of the other guys knew what I was going thru... I had just gotten used to only wearin t-shirts and now Im bak to square 1 again because I realise how noticable my scars really are...
Anyhoo after that big pointless ramble Il cut to the point. Did this ever happen to anyone else before? Like you dont really know what to say or how to react when yer caught off guard or not expecting it? Like I just kinda shrugged off the question with no real answer cause I was sooo embarrased and suprised. What will I say to that person if he asks me bout it again caus I really dont want him to know... What do you do in that situation!!!! My confidence is completely gone causa dat stupid little question!!! I know Im probly being paranoid or silly but I do feel better after writing this... Any answers or advice would be greatly appreciated thanx!
I've been there. It sucks. My sister caught me off guard a couple of times, basically saying 'have you been cutting yourself?' or something like that. I try so hard to protect her from it, but i guess i can't forever. I've had people ask 'what have you done to your arms?' a few times. I usually come up with an alibi or something beforehand so i know i won't say 'errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm...'. You're not being silly lovey, and try not to let it knock your confidence. I personally think it was really brave to wear short sleeves when people may have asked about marks/scars (sucks that they did, but well done anyway) :)
i had that happen once. i was at work and i have scars on my arms and the guy i was waiting on in line looked at my arms funny and asked my if i cut myself i was sooo embarrassed and didn't know what to say i just quickly rung him up and never answered. I really don't have any advise i just try not to draw any attention to my arms and never know what to say if someone asks.
no1 has commented to me yet cos ive kept them hidden but soon they will see them, i'll be embarasd and wont know what to say, and although this is no help and isnt advice, i think it shows the ignorance of these people to just bring the subject up like that- if they understood a bit better they would know thats an awful thing to do, anyone see my point? if we noticed scars on some1 u wouldnt say something like that, but wonder if and how to broach the subject whilst being compassionate and showing consideration not judgement.
The past couple of years when i stopped cutting but my scars were still obvious i didn't bother covering them up. Quite a few people asked me and i would just say 'yes, i used to cut myself', but my confidence was a lot better then, i was a lot better generally, and it was easier because i was able to talk about it as a thing of the past. I'm not sure how i'd react now, but i keep them covered again now i've started again.
Just know that one day when you've stopped you will be able to talk about it with confidence as a thing of the past that you have got through and has made you a stronger person. Not much help now i know sorry.
Life breaks most of us in the end, but afterwards some of us are strong in the broken places
~ Ernest Hemingway
I'm glad you feel a bit better after writing that. Yeah I've had people say what happened to you and stuff, but never really just are you cutting yourself, god that would be so awkward. I did have someone say jokingly, we told you not to cut yourself, little did he know how right he was (he thought it was cat scratches) anyway I hope you're ok now.
Yep and I STILL haven't forgiven the persons. It was my two marching band teachers, and I had gone into their office to talk to them. And the door was open and a few kids were in the room connected to the office, and it was the first day in months that I had worn short sleeves infront of people. One said "Show me your arm" and I was taken back, I mean only one or two people in the past had seen them. I blurted out "no you don't need to worry about me, i have things under control" and she said "I just want to see how bad it is" and I said "it's not bad." the other teacher said "if it's not bad, then you can show us" I was taken back again, like WTF HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT! But the teacher who started it that day had just had a baby so i said "Let me see the scars on your stomach then" and she said "they're too low for me to show you" so I added in "then i dont need to show you mine, there are more people to worry about, more important then me." they said a few more things and i "jokingly" said "you guys are crazy" and ran out the room. And I haven't cut nor recovered nor anything since that day from the humiliation.
Last SI: March 1st 2008
Before that: September 29th, 2007
