Really struggling right now

PoppyLove · 07-12-2020, 09:49 PM

I recently took on a fair amount of debt because my dog and cat both had some expensive vet bills I had to take care of. I work full time but don't have a whole lot left over after I take care of my rent + utilities.

I decided to apply for a second remote job that is about 15 hours a week. It pays decently and I thought since it's just customer service it would be fine.

I've only done some training so far and I am concerned. I already work 40 hours a week so another 15 is a lot, and there is little flexibility with the scheduling. They are also long hours - 4 hour shifts minimum; most are 5-6. I am also concerned that the work itself will be stressful. Not to mention I had a 5 hour training shift Saturday and the person who was supposed to train me didn't even show.

I've told myself that I'll stick it out until the end of December at least since that will make somewhat of a dent in my debt. But I feel like a huge failure, and I feel like I need to save even more so I should keep up with it, but I'm not sure if I can.

Today it even impacted my regular job as I had to call out sick since I was too low to get out of bed due to having training (6 hours!) again tonight.

Any words of advice or support?

EDIT: Another concern I've had today is that my anxiety/depression seems to be affecting my dog, who suffers from anxiety himself. This makes me feel incredibly guilty.

PoppyLove · 09-12-2020, 03:58 PM

Thanks for the hugs. I just wanted to post an update. I decided to quit. I was talking to my mom yesterday and there were a few reasons for this - namely the really long hours, the fact that I already suffer from eye strain just from my normal job, and also that my internet service just drops/outages too often even though I upgraded.

I feel awful about myself but I guess this is just it. Now I have to figure out how to tell them I'm not going to continue working, and deal with shipping everything back to them.

Auror. · 09-12-2020, 04:38 PM

Quitting doesn't sound like a bad idea. Hopefully you can find a different second job that's a better fit for you if you still need to.

grsandy45 · 10-12-2020, 10:54 PM

Hi, let me start by saying you sound like a very resilient, hard-working, and impressive individual. I really hate to see you say you feel like a failure, when someone like you is far from it.

Finances and debt are serious and not to be taken lightly, however, mental health needs to come first, so you can sustainably pay off your debt without doing damage to your health.

I know when I'm in a situation that's bad for my mental health, if I have a light at the end of the tunnel, like knowing it's going to be over at the end of December, then I can push through and cope. If you think you can do that, then stay till the end of December, but be honest with yourself about if you need to get out right now. This extra job is NOT worth sacrificing your mental health.

There are other options. If I were you, I would find a job in retail or at a restaurant or something else on the weekends to work on paying off the debt. I am about to graduate college and I make about $10-$15 an hour doing DoorDash, and put all that towards my student loan debt. It's a very low stress way to make money fast and at your own pace.

You are not a failure. You are a human being, going through a human experience of having financial stress, and you are clearly willing to work hard to pay it off. People who are "failures" don't think that way. Believe in your worth as a person, and forgive yourself for your financial situation.

PoppyLove · 11-12-2020, 04:12 PM

Auror and grsandy45 - thank you both for your kind responses. I did end up leaving the job. I'm lucky in that a chunk of my debt is to my parents, so interest free and relatively flexible on repayment, though I did get excited about paying it back quickly.

I think I feel like a failure largely because I am very "behind" my group of close friends in terms of success (I was talking to my friend yesterday and she says her and her boyfriend are planning on retiring by 40!). My friends themselves don't necessarily make me feel bad about myself because none of them have especially impressive careers, but all are married/engaged/in long term relationships with doctors and engineers so they are still doing quite well, as I hack it on my own.

As always, I've got a lot to work through mentally.

Auror. · 11-12-2020, 07:07 PM

I don't think I know anyone who is going to be able to or planning to retire at 40. That's bizarre. I'm 32 and currently in grad school. I've never had a career or partner so, meh.

You do what's right for you, in the time that is right for you.

I will say finding a different part time job if you can mentally and physically handle it doesn't sound like a bad idea. But I'd also be really wary of any of the contractor type jobs. They seem great in theory, but can be really complicated and confusing when it comes to taxes. I'm now facing like 2k in back taxes for 2 years of a contractor job because I didn't understand what being a contractor meant or what I was responsible for. I wouldn't do it again. I'd either take a job that pays cash under the table (which is what my current part time job does) or make sure it's legit with taxes and a W2.

PoppyLove · 11-12-2020, 08:30 PM

Thanks. I did do food delivery, for the company I just left, and it was fine - there were W2s and a guaranteed per hour wage. However, they've recently added grocery shopping and that's not something I want to do so I left completely.

Right now I'm hardcore budgeting and keeping an eye out.