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Old 07-08-2016, 12:48 AM   #1
Join Date: Aug 2016
Contains sexual abuse - My sister

I am a female. This is the first time I have told anyone about this. When I was 5/6 years old, my older sister of 12/13 at the time used to sexually abuse me.
I can never fully remember the full details as I have probably allowed my mind to block it out. I can't remember when it started or how long it lasted, but I do know that it has had a massive impact on my life.
The weird thing is, I can remember not objecting against it but letting her do it.
Looking back in heindsight, I think it was her way of exploring sexually.
I am now 25 and me and my sister actually have a good relationship. We have never ever discussed what happened but I do know that I have massive resentment against her. We actually own a business together so spend a lot of time making decisions and planning - I can never fully be myself when I'm around her, it's like I hold back and don't show her the real me.
Does anyone have any advice that would be useful in moving forward. Should I confront her and talk to her about it privately ? Would that just make matters worse ? .

Last edited by Saviour99 : 22-08-2016 at 09:30 AM. Reason: Wanted to make people aware that I am female
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Old 22-08-2016, 04:57 PM   #2
I always have a choice
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Join Date: Nov 2010
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Sorry you didn't get a response to this sooner.

This sounds like such a tricky situation and I'm honestly not 100% certain what the best course of action would be.

Do you think she remembers it? And how do you feel towards her about what she did?

If you do think that you want to raise it with her, I'd make sure you choose a time when neither of you is in a hurry so there is time to discuss it in full. It's a huge thing to have never talked about, and hopefully you might feel more able to be yourself around her once you've worked through this. I think you do have to be mindful of the chance that discussing this, could make your relationship more difficult, at least in the short term. She may not remember it and be incredibly shocked and guilty, she may deny it or not be as apologetic as one might hope, which would probably be very difficult for you to deal with. I'm not at all saying that you shouldn't discuss it with her, but I do think it would be worth weighing it up beforehand.

We may not see eye to eye, but we can respect each other's opinions and find the truth in them.
Perhaps in those honest conversations, instead of demonising each other,
we might see each other as imperfect humans, doing our best. ~ Jodi Picoult

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