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Old 08-12-2015, 10:57 PM   #1
angel of despair
 
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Just want messages of support really

Its been a long time since I was last active on here. But tonight I'm feeling pretty low and don't really have anyone to turn to.

I think iv pushed myself to far, i'm not sure I just feel pretty shit.

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Old 08-12-2015, 11:16 PM   #2
Rodolphus
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Hi B ♡

What's going on for you right now? In what way do you feel like you've pushed yourself too far?

You can grab hold of me here, or on Facebook, whenever you need to.
X




Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.


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Old 09-12-2015, 12:37 AM   #3
Accidentally Abstract
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Hey B.

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so low tonight. Do you know what's triggered it off at all? In what way do you feel you've pushed yourself too far?

Would distracting yourself help at all?

Sending a hug!

Take care.

Lucy x



"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure.
I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle.
But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
[Marilyn Monroe]


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Old 09-12-2015, 08:05 PM   #4
angel of despair
 
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I think I'v pushed myself to far with uni and pushing myself to try get good grades and having to get up at like half five to get there so always feeling sleep deprived.

I lost my support worker this week that was the only support I get.

and i have a hospital appointment next week were i find out if i need investigative surgery for them to take a biopsy, im trying to pretend to everyone im fine and okay and not worried but im in physical pain and stressed and i dont know.

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Old 09-12-2015, 08:35 PM   #5
Rodolphus
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Is there any way you can book yourself in some time off, B? Like, make sure that you have a week off over Christmas too sleep and relax and do things for you? And getting into the habit of maybe having one morning a week for you to sleep in? Or if mornings are booked up, then maybe one afternoon or evening a week where you make plans to treat yourself? Self care is really, really important and just as vital as your (quite clearly very impressive!) motivation for your academic success. There's only so long you can burn yourself out for until you don't have anything left to give. You deserve that self care.

Are there any plans to get you a new support worker? The loss of that relationship must be difficult, did you have a good relationship with them?

Good luck for your appointment. How do you feel about potentially having surgery? I know that being in pain can be so tough, it's physically and emotionally draining. Are you getting support from your GP and appropriate pain management?




Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.


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Old 09-12-2015, 08:59 PM   #6
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Big hugs. I'm so sorry you are so low xx

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Old 10-12-2015, 12:09 PM   #7
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Always here if you need me, lovely. Te amo ❤️

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Old 10-12-2015, 05:38 PM   #8
angel of despair
 
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Thank you xxpoppyxx, Te amo xxx

I actually got today and tonight off I wasn't suppose to but something came up and plans got cancelled and i'v spent the day in pjs watching Netflix. Its helped a bit.

I got told to go to my GP and ask for a new referral. My uni have said I can have counselling though the uni to.

I'm nervous but trying not to worry to much. They took me of what was managing the pain because they think i need the surgery. Its all a bit of a mess. Iv been taken codeine which helps a bit though.

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Old 12-12-2015, 12:02 AM   #9
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Having another bad night

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Old 12-12-2015, 01:42 AM   #10
Indigo.
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Hey B!(can I use your name on here, or do you prefer B?)

Do you want to talk about what's going on tonight?

Thinking of you. x

Lucy x



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make a deal with God.




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Old 12-12-2015, 01:28 PM   #11
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Hey Lucy,

I have no idea to be honest i'v spent all term looking forward to the holidays because I was stressed out but now there here the loss of routine is making me feel terrible.

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Old 13-12-2015, 06:13 PM   #12
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Hugs how are you doing today? X

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Old 14-12-2015, 08:46 PM   #13
angel of despair
 
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I'm doing better today

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Old 14-12-2015, 09:01 PM   #14
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That's brilliant to hear.
Is there anything in particular that has made you feel a bit brighter?
Perhaps you can remember it for next time you're struggling xx

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Old 14-12-2015, 09:06 PM   #15
angel of despair
 
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Just feeling less alone I think, I saw my best friends saturday and sunday and some friends today and I think the social contact has helped. Its also helped me deal with the lack of routine.

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Old 14-12-2015, 09:08 PM   #16
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That's really good. I'm glad you've had company and that helped x

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Old 15-12-2015, 10:17 PM   #17
angel of despair
 
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Went to hospital today. The lesions have spread by the sound of it. There increasing how often I have my injection and il go back in 8 weeks. If that doesnt work could mean surgery. If the inection does work she thinks I might be able to get it to take home to give myself.

Apparenty that wierd pain iv been feeling in my side has been where its spread to.

I feel abit I don't know. Im in pain

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Old 15-12-2015, 10:19 PM   #18
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Im honestly fucking fed up with life. I really am

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Old 15-12-2015, 10:29 PM   #19
Indigo.
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Hey B x

I'm sorry you're struggling so much. Not sure what to say in regard to your physical health, except that I really hope the injections start working now they've increased the dosage.

From what you've been saying, it sounds like the change in routine is affecting you. Could you maybe, when you're feeling a bit better, plan a routine for yourself for the Christmas break, just so things are more structured?

Do you want to talk about what's made you feel upset tonight(I mean is it just your physical health, or more like a combination of factors)?

Lucy x



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Old 15-12-2015, 10:33 PM   #20
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My blade is missing!! my parents must of found it and threw it out. They think i havnt self hamed for 6 years. Oh jesus :(

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