Awful day, I really need some support :(
Today was totally awful, and I was tempted for the first time in 4 and a half months of being harm free to cut my palms. I found myself searching my room for some mini screwdrivers and a sharpener, so I could use the small blade. Part of me was saying: You don't deserve to cut, you're not worthy of soothing yourself and bleeding. The other part was saying: What are you thinking?!
I was struggling to breathe calmly and could feel my head wanting to zone out as I became increasingly anxious, somehow I managed to resit though and this post is distracting me from my urges. I do want to. I have no idea how I'm not right now. I just feel like its still too early, that I'm not ready to live like a normal person again just yet. If anyone can give me a little support I'll be really grateful. <3