1 month +1 day
hey there. man of mirrors here. if you're reading this, thanks. em...about two months ago i relapsed. I was three years free of SH and two months ago i SHed (am i the only one who found it a little clever that it spells shed)? There hasn;t been a day gone by that i don't regret it. And with all the thoughts and...well i like to keep my posts away from the triggering side of things. So regardless of the thoughts, i've been clean a month and a day.
I don't like saying clean. There's serious drug addicts out there who have done so much to stay clean. SH is a different game altogether. But it's either call it getting clean, or saying i'm cut free. I don;t like the sound of either (hey, since you've read this far, why not post suggestions of easier things to say than self harm).
Tbh i don't know why i'm posting. i did three years and one month, well it's a small step back on the straight and narrow. Lol, if i was giving myself advice i'd say an arrow needs to be pulled back before it can fly. But who listens to themselves eh?
this has gone on way longer than i intended. i guess...i'm stalling. It's not that i don't want to post this, it's that i have two things to say about this month and a day i really don't want to say.
1: things don't look like they're going to get easier
2: i might wobble, trip and walk backwards. But i will not fall!
If you read the whole of this, i gotta ask, is there something else you could be doing other than watch this man babble about 31 days or so? and thank you, thank you so much for reading, every hug or comment i get here, it lifts my heart. it makes me feel like i'm not alone here