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Old 09-07-2012, 01:01 AM   #1
The Stranger Stranger
Just jacob
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1 month +1 day

hey there. man of mirrors here. if you're reading this, thanks. em...about two months ago i relapsed. I was three years free of SH and two months ago i SHed (am i the only one who found it a little clever that it spells shed)? There hasn;t been a day gone by that i don't regret it. And with all the thoughts and...well i like to keep my posts away from the triggering side of things. So regardless of the thoughts, i've been clean a month and a day.

I don't like saying clean. There's serious drug addicts out there who have done so much to stay clean. SH is a different game altogether. But it's either call it getting clean, or saying i'm cut free. I don;t like the sound of either (hey, since you've read this far, why not post suggestions of easier things to say than self harm).

Tbh i don't know why i'm posting. i did three years and one month, well it's a small step back on the straight and narrow. Lol, if i was giving myself advice i'd say an arrow needs to be pulled back before it can fly. But who listens to themselves eh?

this has gone on way longer than i intended. i guess...i'm stalling. It's not that i don't want to post this, it's that i have two things to say about this month and a day i really don't want to say.
1: things don't look like they're going to get easier
2: i might wobble, trip and walk backwards. But i will not fall!

If you read the whole of this, i gotta ask, is there something else you could be doing other than watch this man babble about 31 days or so? and thank you, thank you so much for reading, every hug or comment i get here, it lifts my heart. it makes me feel like i'm not alone here

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Old 17-07-2012, 01:45 PM   #2
a mirror that reflects it
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Upstate New York
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*hug* i'm a bit late to seeing this, but wanted to reply. and it is kinda nice to hear someone speak realistically about what recovery is like :)

how are things going? you can get to years again, but to do that you need to hang on to all the small milestones.

this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.

The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.

PM me anytime, I love getting messages :)

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Old 19-07-2012, 08:16 PM   #3
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I'm sorry my reply is so late as well.

(I don't think there is an easier way than saying 'self harm' because self harm isn't an 'easy' topic. I'm sure others feel differently though)

I think it's great you've pulled yourself back up from a relapse, and i quite like the sound of your arrow analogy.You should be proud that you're managing to think so positivly about your recovery. I hope you reach years without self harm again!

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Old 22-07-2012, 03:55 PM   #4
I always have a choice
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Congratulations! It can be hard to relapse after so long but well done for getting back on the wagon!

Well done and good luck :)

We may not see eye to eye, but we can respect each other's opinions and find the truth in them.
Perhaps in those honest conversations, instead of demonising each other,
we might see each other as imperfect humans, doing our best. ~ Jodi Picoult

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