I hope by now she has calmed down a bit. It must be very unsettling for you. You are still really early into the treatment but I'm glad you are giving it a go even if it is difficult. Take care of yourself x
I am so so triggered. Yesterday one of the staff said that I had anorexic tendencies and to be anorexic you had to be underweight which I wasn't. That really upset and hurt and invalidated me.
Then I met the new woman and guess what? Think of the most triggering for me at the moment? Yep, she's anorexic, underweight yet on a BPD unit with a NG tube up her nose and is being tube fed here rather than being encouraged
to eat even a tiny bit. It was automatically given to her.
I'm really messed up in the head now.
Yes she's ill but why not go to the ED unit on site until she can manage without a tube?
I was told that BPD had to be the primary diagnosis and my SH would come under that but an anorexic who wont eat?? Fine (well, not fine but you get my drift) if she's anorexic and thinner than me, but if I have to struggle at the meal tables every day then why not make her? There's an ED dietician on site (and a bloody ED unit) so she could try like I do.
Yes I probably am jealous of her size, self awareness and all that but I could learn to cope with that. It's just a complete lack of anyone making her to go for meals today - and she can be forced, she's sectioned - like me.
Whinge over. Sorry.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
If she's been forced there it may be a case of her needing to calm down, I just hope it happens reasonably soon. Its pretty aggrevating having someone kicking off when you're trying to cope with being there yourself. Just remember she's new and things will settle down in one way or another. Could you put some headphones in and listen to music?
Your attitude right now is spot on, and you can get a lot done in a year, maximise this and I know you'll get back what you put in.
Try and focus on your journey there and leave her in the peripheral. I know its very lonely there in some ways, even though it sounds like the staff are quite sociable with you. I shall be coming on the 29th to see you, its all been okayed. I need to call C but yeah, I cant wait to see you!!
Ahh I just saw your recent post. I would be very rattled with all that going on, I really empathise with you on that. And I have to agree if she needs an NG tube then they really should have her on the ED ward until she can attempt to eat by mouth, it does signal that her ED is certainly very prominant, but my only idea is that shes using her ED as self harm, as you have in the past and that is why her team feel a BPD/self harm would be more appropriate in terms of combatting the route causes.
I do really empathise that her not being encouraged to eat at meal times as you have to is very off putting, could you talk to a more understanding member of staff about your feelings. Maybe it would be better if shes not willing to eat, to have her absent from the meal table. Afterall, if she wont participate in the food aspect, there is no need [considering the difficulty it poses for you] for her to be there just sitting around.
Again though, try and focus on your path there, your treatment and what position you want to be in when you move on from there.
Hey I just wanted to stop by and see how your doing... I'm sorry the other girl is so triggering. It is really hard to see other people not even being ENCOURAGED to engage when they are treating you differently. Maybe they have their reasons for it and she may be at a different stage and needs that support but it still doesnt make you feel any better. I hope you can see past this even though it's hard and use these resources to help you make the most of your year there and help you maximise your optimal recovery. Message me if you need someone different to talk teen though we haven't spoken much. I know what it's like to be held in hospital for long periods of time and I feel your pain.
Hope things improve soon xx Clare
Hey Liddy, how's it going? Hang on in there, you're doing fantastically considering the circumstances. I keep reading in this thread because I know you need support so like before I just want to send you lots of love and cuddles right now. It's a scary experience, but hopefully one that you will never forget in a good way. You can take an awful lot from this, and like the others have said, maximise what you can out of the year that you'll be there. You're doing so well, *hugs*
Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world awaits in darkness for the light that is you.
It sounds very difficult with the new patient. As MissA said, it may be that this is her way of self harming but I certainly agree that it seems ridiculous to have her at the dinner table where you are already struggling and it must feel very much like rubbing it in your face. I do hope you can have a chat with a helpful member of staff.
Sorry I missed all of this...I took off RYL for a few months after I realized that I mostly gravitate towards it when I'm contemplating a slip. At any rate, I'm glad you've found a place that seems at least halfway decent, and I hope you know that I, like so many others, wish you the best of luck and recovery. You can do this, Lid!