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Old 16-07-2012, 10:18 PM   #1
2confused
 
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What do you do when someone asks?

I've been asked by several people so far on how I got my scars. I gave them the whole "my cats scratched me thing". It works because I do have cats and not so nice ones too but what happenes if they ask why it's only there on one place? Its such a private and secretive issue. At what point do you start to feel comfortable telling people? Am I the only one worried about being told that I just have to stop and worried that people just won't understand? The other issue is who to tell? All my friends are squares who's biggest concerns are how to boyfriends or what to wear to school.

Also what are the most outragouse excuses you've told people about your scares?

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Old 16-07-2012, 10:23 PM   #2
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i told someone i fell over...not the most convinsing thing on earth...
if your going to tell someone, make sure you trust them, it wont matter what their like when it comes to personality, there you freinds and if they dont understand you of dont care then there not very good freinds to have. just start to tell people when you feel most comfotable

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Old 16-07-2012, 10:27 PM   #3
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Theres a list of silly excuses somewhere. Cant remember where though



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Old 16-07-2012, 10:34 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2confused View Post
The other issue is who to tell?

Also what are the most outragouse excuses you've told people about your scares?
Is there a counsellor at your school? Or a teacher you think you could speak to?
Once you are receiving help then it is easier to tell your friends because they won't be so worried if you tell them you're working on it.

I've had a few young kids ask me & I say it was the monkeys from the zoo (I used to work in a zoo) They buy that!

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Old 16-07-2012, 10:59 PM   #5
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I got to a point later in high school where I just stopped giving a **** what people thought about me, so on the rare occasions I wasn't wearing armwarmers or long sleeves and somebody would say something snarky, or even just ask with genuine concern (which, I was so angry I didn't really care for their concern) I would make up the most ridiculous explanations. Some of my favourites were; "Oh, yeah, I fell in a cactus patch." or "Got into a fight with a grizzly bear." I found the more ridiculous and unbelievable, the less likely the people were to continue the conversation anyway. XD


Last edited by pandachan : 16-07-2012 at 11:00 PM. Reason: forgetfulness.
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Old 17-07-2012, 12:00 AM   #6
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are these people who you care about your relationship with (if you have any sort of relationship with)?

edit: relationship not meaning just boyfriend/girlfriend


Last edited by PassedExpectations : 17-07-2012 at 12:00 AM. Reason: clarifying



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Old 17-07-2012, 03:11 AM   #7
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I usually use the same excuse, that my cat did it.
Unfortunately that doesn't quite explain how they're evenly spaced and parallel and even on each wrist (I'm kind of particular about how I cut).
Sometimes I blame it on an art project.
I don't know if I can ever just readily tell a person that I cut. It takes time with each person, I think. I've only told 3 people ever, none of which are my "close" friends.



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Old 17-07-2012, 03:49 AM   #8
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You don't have to tell anybody (who's not a counselor, therapist, or adult you trust), if you don't want to. Considerate, well-mannered people will realize from your reaction that it's a sensitive subject and know to leave well enough alone. You don't owe anyone an explanation about your body.

My weirdest excuse? I told someone once that I got my scars slaying a dragon :p. I had one kid who thought my biggest one was a caterpillar crawling on my arm. It does look like a fat caterpillar with spiny little legs.


Last edited by PaleMoon : 17-07-2012 at 03:50 AM. Reason: Clarifying


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Old 17-07-2012, 09:02 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scaredy-cat View Post
Theres a list of silly excuses somewhere. Cant remember where though
Here's the list of excuses :)
http://www.recoveryourlife.com/index.php?categoryid=28

I usually tell people something like my cat scratched me, I fell walking home/am clumsy, ran into a bush, my neighbor's dog did it, etc, or sometimes act surprised and say I don't know where they came from. Not really anything "outrageous" I guess. And after that I try to change the subject pretty fast. People have asked why some go in the same direction or whatnot, but I kinda shrug it off. I have to know someone really well to be able to tell them. Either that, or I'll tell someone if they self-harm or have a history of it.



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We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.


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Old 17-07-2012, 10:59 AM   #10
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I'm glad I stumbled across this thread as it's something that still holds me back in my life! When I was at school (going back 15 years now) my SH was very bad. I was probably SHing every other day. I confided in someone who I thought was my best friend and she ran to a teacher and dobbed me in. It was awful. Also at the time I was struggling to come to terms with my sexuality and confided in a teacher who I thought I could basically trust. Well she decided to tell my parents about my sexuality and SH as she thought it would help! Worst thing she could of ever done. I don't trust anyone anymore. Even not as an adult I am still experiencing people who break my trust. Maybe this is why my relationship with my partner has always been an ongoing struggle!? Sorry for rambling but this is my experience of SH and confiding/trusting people. Maybe I have just been unlucky in life!

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Old 17-07-2012, 12:31 PM   #11
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I'm usually deliberately vague when people ask me. I usually just say "it's a really long story", and almost everyone takes the hint that I don't want to talk about it.
I have had a couple of people try and ask further questions, usually by trying to guess what it's from =P (skin disease, childhood accident, ect)
But if you don't want to talk about it, just reiterate what you said,
"nar, nothing like that, like I said REALLY long story"
"it was a long time ago, I don't really talk about it now"
Basically any response that brushes them off. I think it's good to try not to be too sharp with them, as many are asking out of genuine concern or innocent curiosity.
If anyone dare take it further than this though, it would be blatantly rude. It's very unlikely to happen but if it did tell them you don't want to talk about it, and want them to respect your privacy!
I know it can be stressful, going though all the 'what if' scenarios, but in reality most people are either respectful, or don't seam to notice. I guess if you're in school kids may be more likely to ask, but if you use the tactics above you should be ok.
If I'm ever asked by someone who I feel I want/need to be honest with, I just tell them straight up that I used to self-harm.
It can take a long time to get comfortable with this. I remember when telling people, or even wearing short sleeves seamed like the most terrifying thing, but it definitely gets easier the more you do it. Also, apart from when you are with your friends, no one else knows that you are nervous/new to showing scars, the more confidant you are, the less people are likely to worry/notice or feel uncomfortable. Fake it till you make it =)

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Old 17-07-2012, 11:41 PM   #12
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if you go under 'distractions' on this website it has a hug list of excuses. my favorite that they have i think is blaming it on globle warming.







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Old 18-07-2012, 12:02 AM   #13
2confused
 
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I know someone that did s.h. and a friend of her's told the coulsler. They put her on a suicide watch, contacted her family and sent her to therapy. She wasn't even a serious s.h.er. She had barely cut her self. Everybody in my class later found out. Then a few months later that same person that had told on her for cutting, came to class with cuts all over his hands. Even if someone sees them once or talks about it, people do find out. A few girls strated talikng about his cuts and they just sneered, acting like they were better. I shouldn't care about what people say but i defiantly don't want people finding out yet.

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Old 18-07-2012, 12:23 AM   #14
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Zombie bite marks. True story!




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