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Old 19-11-2010, 05:36 AM   #4281
Scrabble.
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Ive always believed in God.

But ive never activly gone to church, or even read the bible.
My husband tells me all the time, god is keeping me safe and looking after me and i believe that. But i want to FEEL it.
I want God to be a bigger part of my life but i dont know how..

x




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Old 20-11-2010, 09:21 PM   #4282
healingraine
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My life is a sort of interesting place right now. I'd covet your prayers.

The following content has been hidden - Reason : ED trigger
My food issues are getting worse and worse. I've come to the conclusion that simply being in therapy for an hour a week and then trying to manage school and the rest of life is just not working out. So next semester I'm seeking further treatment. This means either inpatient, intensive outpatient, partial hospitalization... Not sure yet.
This coming Tuesday I have my first appointment with a new counselor who specializes in eating disorders. She, along with an internal medicine doctor who also specializes in eating disorders are going to see me a few times (and the internist will run blood tests and an ekg and all that fun stuff) and then they'll make a recommendation about what level of care will be most beneficial.



SI free solely by the grace of God!
August 2, 2007


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Old 20-11-2010, 09:30 PM   #4283
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*cuddles salanna*




Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"

Thomas Parke D’Invilliers



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Old 20-11-2010, 09:31 PM   #4284
tamobhuuta
 
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i will pray for you Salanna. whatever happens we'll know that Jesus is with you :) if it was me i think i would be quite nervous so i hope you're holding up ok with this on top of the eating issues themselves.

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Old 22-11-2010, 03:47 AM   #4285
needle girl
in this needle and haystack life...
 
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I SO want to give in again...it's a month today. Since anything major anyways. And that was the first in three years. I don't care right now that it's wrong...trying to hold on to what my counselor told me, that God cares.

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Old 22-11-2010, 03:51 AM   #4286
risenfromperdition
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*hugs salanna* praying



“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”

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Old 22-11-2010, 06:00 AM   #4287
needle girl
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Aaaand the count starts over. Again. :(

How can I do this to myself?

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Old 22-11-2010, 04:55 PM   #4288
ˈsäləˌterē
 
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I'm a married 40 yr old women with 12 and 15 yr old boys. Is there anyone else out there that I can relate with who would like to possibly have an ongoing mutually supportive friendship through texting etc? I've found that for me, staying in communication with others is a key to my recovery.

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Old 22-11-2010, 09:26 PM   #4289
risenfromperdition
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: hogwarts ^.^

i dont really listen to christian music anymore.. but matthew west's new album= o.O [the story of my life] ... cant be arsed to copy all the lyrics but check out. he basically has a song for every situation O.o



“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”

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Old 24-11-2010, 11:58 PM   #4290
shieldworld
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I thought I'd introduce myself. Hi, I'm Kat. Been a Christian for about a year and a half now, a self-harmer for about five years...
Basically, I'm so relieved to find somewhere like this, cause I know some people hate religion because it triggers them (for a variety of different reasons).

I am absolutely sucking at the whole Jesus thing at the moment; I don't even have my little chats (one sided) anymore, I just get angry and think about other things. I just feel..abandoned at the moment. I'm really down, and I keep praying for help, for release even, and I'm getting absolutely nothing in reply...

I was at bible study tonight and it came to prayer requests and I just wanted to say "well my relationships with my family are sucking right now, I'm not even sure if I believe in the Christian God anymore... Oh, and I pray every time a car comes near me or something heavy is near me for it to fall and at least seriously injure, if not kill me.... Pray for me?" But I didn't. I just... right at this moment is the moment I need God just to take me in his arms and say 'its going to be ok'. But right now, I feel so unbelieveably abandoned....


Sorry to bring you all down, I really needed to vent to people who will understand the best. I feel like such a bad Christian.




Psychology, NCL, 2010.




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Old 25-11-2010, 12:04 AM   #4291
shieldworld
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freedom Fighter View Post
you need to give your SI up for yourself. anything else and your setting yourself up for failure



you obviously have never read numbers :P
I dunno like, Judges isn't exactly thrilling.




Psychology, NCL, 2010.




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Old 25-11-2010, 12:10 AM   #4292
bishy barnaby
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I really need prayer. Everything is going wrong atm and my friend (also a Christian Si-er) is dragging me down with her. I can't do this much longer... really want to SI





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Old 25-11-2010, 12:21 AM   #4293
shieldworld
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Sweet, what's up? If your friend is dragging you down with her, then your safety needs to come first. I've had friends like that before and I've just had to stay away from them until I'm safe, even if that meant that they weren't.




Psychology, NCL, 2010.




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Old 25-11-2010, 02:53 AM   #4294
risenfromperdition
you are loved and beautiful :)
 
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Location: hogwarts ^.^


good song =]
to salanna and anyone else who's dreading thanksgiving tomorrow... will be thinknig of you all. we can get through it =]



“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”

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Old 25-11-2010, 09:50 AM   #4295
tamobhuuta
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shieldworld View Post
I thought I'd introduce myself. Hi, I'm Kat. Been a Christian for about a year and a half now, a self-harmer for about five years...
Basically, I'm so relieved to find somewhere like this, cause I know some people hate religion because it triggers them (for a variety of different reasons).

I am absolutely sucking at the whole Jesus thing at the moment; I don't even have my little chats (one sided) anymore, I just get angry and think about other things. I just feel..abandoned at the moment. I'm really down, and I keep praying for help, for release even, and I'm getting absolutely nothing in reply...

I was at bible study tonight and it came to prayer requests and I just wanted to say "well my relationships with my family are sucking right now, I'm not even sure if I believe in the Christian God anymore... Oh, and I pray every time a car comes near me or something heavy is near me for it to fall and at least seriously injure, if not kill me.... Pray for me?" But I didn't. I just... right at this moment is the moment I need God just to take me in his arms and say 'its going to be ok'. But right now, I feel so unbelieveably abandoned....


Sorry to bring you all down, I really needed to vent to people who will understand the best. I feel like such a bad Christian.

obviously i'm not God so it doesn't feel quite the same but i can tell you that it is going to be ok. we know that because Jesus came - although if you're struggling with the Christian God at the moment you might be struggling with that too.

God never abandons us but it's ok to feel like he does, i think, because on the cross Jesus said "My God My God why have you abandoned me". maybe, Jesus knows how bad these moments suck but he asks us to bear with them (something i'm terrible at!) and let God make something good come out of it.

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Old 25-11-2010, 09:51 AM   #4296
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Happy Thanksgiving all you Americans :)

outhere, i will pray.

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Old 25-11-2010, 10:30 AM   #4297
shieldworld
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I do believe, I never really stopped. I just.. I don't want to put the effort in anymore. It's a side effect of my depression I think. I used to enjoy praying, having my little me time with God and now I don't...




Psychology, NCL, 2010.




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Old 25-11-2010, 12:41 PM   #4298
tamobhuuta
 
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i suppose it's important for us to remember that God is still there, still caring, even when we don't feel like praying. don't beat yourself up about it because depression takes a lot out of you. 'pray as you can not as you can't' is good to remember.

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Old 26-11-2010, 02:58 AM   #4299
Shainahurts
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I'm a christian SI. And I feel guilty for doing it, for giving in...



The beer spills in a disgusting puddle and the glass becomes nothing but fragments of a rainbow.


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Old 26-11-2010, 03:26 AM   #4300
needle girl
in this needle and haystack life...
 
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Psalm 103 talks about how God saves us and remembers we are but dust...in reference to our tendency to sin. It's really helped me lately, maybe it will one of you...goes along with whats being discussed right now.



Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief



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