Triggering (SI/ED) - I feel so stupid. [ kinda rantish sorry for post ]

[LiViNGxxTHExxLiFE]

I feel like i am not normal. Like i dont fit in anywhere. At all.

I dont have enough willpower to lose enough weight to be considered an eating disorder, yet i dont eat enough/eat too much to be considered nowmal eating habits.

It's been a year. A year since the sh*t started. I cant cope with all this anymore. I can stand the fact that ive given my razor up.

I need to cut. I need to starve. I need to purge.

I miss that empty,yet full feeling.

I need something. . . i just dont know what it is.

I am not fat, not thin, not scarred, not clear. I am nothing.

Not anorexic, not bulimic, not a binge eater. I weigh too much or too little.

I cant stand this anymore!

I cant stand the fact that people only love me when i am thin or cut up. It doesnt make sense. Its like i just disapeared. That i am not part of reality anymore. I am not me.

[Stellata]

How is it that people only seem to love you when you're wounded - how did that happen?

[Popple]

*cuddles*
You don't have to be those things to be loved people undoubtebly worry abotu you more when things are bad because they care and sometimes its really hard when you don't get that same comfort at other times.
Is there anyone you can talk to about how you are feeling?
Never be sorry for posting
Take care of yourself love
xx

[Katiee]

Heyya,
Wow, that must be really hard to cope with right now.
I can really understand that. Is there anyone you could possibly talk to about this? It could really help you in finding out why you feel like this.
It's really really brave of you to have given up your razor. Doesn't that tell you something? You're strong! Honestly you can get through this, sure it will be hard and you'll have really bad days, but you will get through this. :] Just take things one step at a time. Remember you're always welcome to post here when you're feeling like this and need to vent. Someone will always be here and willing to give you support. Also remember that ypu don't need to be "thin or cut up" in order to have people love you, they love you anyway, sometimes it's just hard to see it. Take care xx

[LiViNGxxTHExxLiFE]

Thank you everyone ♥

I think the reason i feel this way is because my life is all mixed up rite now. like its really unorganized. but i am trying to realize that life will never be absolutely perfect

[Iclemyer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Pixie

You don't have to be those things to be loved people undoubtebly worry abotu you more when things are bad because they care and sometimes its really hard when you don't get that same comfort at other times.

I agree with this.
We are always here for you though, PM me anytime,
Take care
Stay Safe and strong.
Dianne
xx