Triggering (SI) - residual pain

[Les]

i have this residual pain in my arm from cutting a couple weeks ago that im not used to and it just really triggers me. feeling this horrible pain in my arm just makes me want to slice my wrists up. is this weird???? am i a total freak?

[Les]

*trigger sui**
ps honestly would anyone much even notice if i killed myself??? my life is so empty i almost doubt they would. sigh.

[lower than myself]

Aw honey! Sorry to hear about your arm - would it be something to maybe speak to your GP about?

&& yes, I think we would all notice && very gutted that we lost you!

PM anytime

*hugs*

Yas Louise.

[Les]

im really scared. i dont know if i can resist the urge to cut, and i have a lot to lose. they've already said next time i do im committed automatically. and i have to call the paramedics so long as im able. i dont know what to do.

[lower than myself]

Aw honey! Well it's good that your able to call the paramedics right? And I'm not sure what the commited thing is [sorry!] but maybe this could be your chance to do something that will distract you? Other than that I'm not sure honey. Like I said PM me anytime honey!

Yas Louise

[Les]

i hate my life i think im doing my job for my familys sake and not mine. i hate where i live (the city), i hate the boredom, and i hate that i cant stop cutting. if i cut tonight i lose my job and get hospitalized and lose my family sorta. you think that would deter me, but i just want to so badly maybe to get out of this all.

[Les]

committed = they force you to stay in the hospital
if i cut thats what they will do. they almost did last time, this time its for sure.

[lower than myself]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Les

i hate my life i think im doing my job for my familys sake and not mine. i hate where i live (the city), i hate the boredom, and i hate that i cant stop cutting. if i cut tonight i lose my job and get hospitalized and lose my family sorta. you think that would deter me, but i just want to so badly maybe to get out of this all.

Aw honey! I think you know this isn't the right way out, I'm guessing that your family aren't to keen on the whole SI thing then? Maybe there's someone you could talk to? It's midnight here, and I don't know if there's a time difference there but if there isn't, then your doing a fantastic job babe!

PM me if you want to talk, or add me to MSN, I'm here if you want to talk!

[Les]

*TRIG SUI**



i feel like i have to slit my wrists. i dont know why. i just want it all to be over. help me please, god.

[lower than myself]

*hugs*

You can get through this honey!

[crazykat]

You can beat this, remember these feelings do pass. Have you got someone there that you can talk to? I'm here if you need someone to talk to. Take care
Kat xxx

[lower than myself]

How you feeling today honey?

[Les]

anxious about work. still dont know if i can handle it. theres more but i cant really put it to words. feel pretty crappy.
ty tho

[cchaos]

That's different from me. I like any pain or twinges that happens after-- because it's the pain rather than the cutting that calms me.

If you could work out why it triggers you, then it is a lot easier for you to deal with.

Hold in there Les

[Les]

im scared im gonna do something really stupid tonight but i feel like a train picking up speed and i cant just stop. pray for me!!!

[lower than myself]

It's fantastic that you made it through the night! Good Luck!

[Les]

im seriously thinking about quitting my job for a volunteer job. theres just a lot of pressure. and i KNOW im gonna cut again sooner or later and the thing is it will get me in the hospital and then what about work? i just dont know what to do i am so cnfused.
les.

[crazykat]

Congrats hun for makin it thru last night. Maybe if the job is causing you too much pressure that would be a good idea. Only you know whats best for you tho. Hang in there, you can get through tonight.

[lower than myself]

Kats right. Congrats honey, and you can only make this choice about your job yourself. Well Done && good luck with tonight!