Thank you. It means a lot.
My therapist referred me to another place for some extra support while shes gone (shes on a trip and has been for over a month and a half). She won't be back for like another month.
But I have phone or skype appointments with her.
I wanted to tell her some crap that I trust no one else with before she left but I didn't want to do that right before she left so I waited. Now im scared that shes going to not want to work with me anymore when she gets back and I'm going to have to start learning to trust someone all over again. It took me over 4 months to get to this point and im seriously questioning whether it was a good idea in the first place.
She talks like she will still be working with me when she gets back but I don't know if shes just messing with my mind.
I called the other place she wanted me to work with also and they didn't call me back. Which is typical. I don't know why I bother all I do is waste people's time. I've played the calling other places game before. Theyl gladly take your money and pretend they care but then tell you to go somewhere else. I'm livid with myself for ever believing someone actually cared. I know better.
I screwed up my no self harming, drinking, and not eating enough in one night. I'm soooo mad at myself for trusting anyone. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I'm starting to feel a little bit better but I think im just burying everything.