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Old 01-06-2017, 01:01 AM   #1
not_so_insig
It's Bouquet! B-U-C-K-E-T!
 
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Join Date: Sep 2004
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Idk why

I keep on getting nightmares about cutting and intrusive thoughts too. I keep on thinking about how good it feels and I miss taking care of my cuts. I don't know how long I can last much longer. I know that I should get to 6 years free (just over 2 weeks now) but it seems so hard.

Please don't tell me that it's just dreams and that it won't hurt me or any of that bull crap I won't find it helpful. It's so vivid that I have trouble distinguishing dreams from reality. Part of me thinks that I will just stop at one cut but part of me knows that I have worked bloody hard to get to nearly 6 years free.



Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013


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Old 01-06-2017, 12:01 PM   #2
EMH
 
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6 years! Go you :) really, thats amazing. i know that right now maybe that doesnt feel the most important thing, but know that im proud of you.

and dreams can really ****ing hurt. they are so real arent they. ive always been one who has really vivid dreams too, and i always remember them so throughout the day they get played back for me by my oh so lovely brain. am here if you need to talk through any of your dreams.

missing looking after your cuts, is there anything you could do that kind of mimics that behaviour but without the cutting? ive kind of been the opposite so not sure i have alot of good advice, but does self care in other areas work at all? like taking a bath and putting on moisturiser afterwards or something?

it never stops at one cut. thats just the line our head tells us. please tell me how things are going and im always about if you need to chat.

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Old 02-06-2017, 06:20 PM   #3
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Dawn keep thinking of all your hard work in stopping self harm. You are quite rightly proud of that, so hold onto that.

Disturbing dreams are really distressing. Would doing something relaxing before bed help? Or making your room all nice, so you enjoy going to bed.

I hope you can fight these thoughts.

I'm here if you want to talk.





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Old 02-06-2017, 07:23 PM   #4
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I don't have many words right now, but have read and I care <3



'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥


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Old 03-06-2017, 07:16 PM   #5
not_so_insig
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Thanks everyone. I was ok but then my cat accidentally scratched me (she fell and dug her claws in me to try and stop herself) & they are quite severe and deep. It's triggering me each time I see them.

I still haven't cut but I am thinking of seeing if reading a book or colouring before bed will help instead. I know what I will buy if I get to 6 years free.



Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013


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Old 03-06-2017, 07:24 PM   #6
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I hope reading and colouring helps. Just think of what you can buy when you get to six years free. I admire the way you are fighting this. You can get through this.





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Old 03-06-2017, 11:38 PM   #7
not_so_insig
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Thanks Lorraine. It's not helping that anxiety is slowly creeping up because my parents are going on holiday in a few weeks time. I think that it's making every little wobble a bit bigger than normal.

I don't normally do a dream journal if all else fails I will try that Carmen. I think that I need to get out my happy box too see if that helps.



Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013


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Old 06-06-2017, 02:33 PM   #8
not_so_insig
It's Bouquet! B-U-C-K-E-T!
 
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Wales, UK
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I haven't had any dreams for a few nights now. However I am still triggered each time I see the scratches. They are less painful and are less red than what they were however so it's becoming slowly better.



Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013


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Old 06-06-2017, 09:33 PM   #9
not_so_insig
It's Bouquet! B-U-C-K-E-T!
 
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Location: Wales, UK
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Thanks Carmen. I am just so determined to get to 6 years free which is only 9 days away. Hopefully I will be ok once the scratches go away which should be soon. I would put a plaster but I am going swimming tomorrow and also I think that they are too big.



Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013


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