And even though no one has ever responded to my previous posts about this I am still going to continue about my flashbacks because I just had a doozy of one. Earlier today i was dancing to some 80s and 90s music and it was really triggering and I couldn't figure out why. When I finish, I sat down to pray and started having an awful memory that entailed being raped and screaming and knowing that my mom could hear me and was doing nothing about it. Then later on tonight I was afraid to go to bed because I just had this feeling that something awful was going to happen. When I finally tried to go to sleep, I ended up having three flashbacks and it had to do with this memory. When I was fifteen, my father had several men rape me and instead of dissociating as I normally did whenever I got raped oh, I was fully conscious and was screaming my head off. I was screaming so loudly that they decided to turn on a radio to try to out drown me. The radio was playing 80s and 90s music. Now I understand why that music has been triggering for me for so long. Even now, I'm afraid to go back to bed even though my head is splitting and I'm really tired. I really hope someone response to my post.
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