If I were to end up in high supported I can't imagine it being for long because i am 'high functioning', but I don't want to be moving about all the time, I just want to settle somewhere. Ward round later today :/
sticks and stones may break your bones but words can tear your heart out.
Yay lol, I *should* be getting overnight leave next week, hopefully for a few days with the view to return for ward round and get discharged!!! They still haven't had the results of my clozapine blood levels, but if it does need increasing the HTT can do it. I'm also seeing a specalist dr in addictions this week to see if i can get medication to help me abstain from alcohol.
So yeah, result!
sticks and stones may break your bones but words can tear your heart out.
Thanks! It means a lot to have positive reinforcement from you guys :)
I've got a meeting on friday which im a bit scared about. And then another meeting on Tuesday. Its still a bit up in the air when i will go home/whether it will be leave or discharge. I was at home for a bit today which was nice.
I'm starting to get a bit apprehensive though. Slightly worried about certain destructive urges that are creeping into my head, nothing that could land me back in hospital thankfully, but still, the feelings are a bit paradoxical I guess. Hrmm.
sticks and stones may break your bones but words can tear your heart out.
The meeting went well thanks! It was with a psychatrist that specalises in addictions....(i hate to admit it but i have issues with alcohol) but yeah, I was prescribed some medication which is meant to take away the cravings for alcohol.
I *should* be going home on Monday!!!! :D At least, that's when I have ward round so fingers crossed. I have a meeting on Wednesday with the house and my social worker and then a CPA the following week.
Getting quite overwhelmed being here and a difficult situation has set of unhealthy thoughts/fantasies. Just stressed becuase I feel like I can't live without hurting myself in one way or another. Hopefully it will slowly go...
sticks and stones may break your bones but words can tear your heart out.
This is why I hate my head. I feel like I will be ruminating over this for ages. I've had operations in the past for self harm and I can't really express why, but i like them. And when I think about the fact I won't be in a coma again it makes me sad.
My head is ****ed :(
sticks and stones may break your bones but words can tear your heart out.
Just thought I'd update now I'm at home. I'm on leave with the HTT until I have my discharge CPA in a week or so.
It's really good to be home!! :D The hostel said I can take next week easy and just adjust to being home again. Will start slowly introducing activities after that. Have been feeling a lot more optimistic since I realised that college needs to wait until I am better and have had a period of stability. Ended up being sectioned twice last year so it's not realistic to think I can cope with the stress of college.
My morning dose of clozapine was increased to 100mg on tuesday and at first I was really sedated, but it seems to be having a calming effect. Managed to get on the bus 3 times yesterday and get off at the stop i intended to. It was difficult but I managed to self sooth and I didn't have a full blow panic attack - that is a real huge achievement for me!!
sticks and stones may break your bones but words can tear your heart out.
Aw, this is great to read lovely! :) So glad that you are home and that the med increase seems to be having a positive effect. You've fought so hard, you should be proud of yourself. Definitely take it easy! That's an order! You're doing really well, proud of you <3 xxx
lol, I *should* be getting overnight leave next week, hopefully for a few days with the view to return for ward round and get discharged!!! They still haven't had the results of my clozapine blood levels, but if it does need increasing the HTT can do it. I'm also seeing a specalist dr in addictions this week to see if i can get medication to help me abstain from alcohol.
your replies mean a lot to me <3
