Postpartum anxiety/depression

[dandelionsandfairies]

I didn't really know where to post this. I used to browse this site as a teenager, I'm 24 now all grown up, considered mostly recovered, married with my own family. I used to be quite out there as a teenager with mental health, I suffered terribly from ADHD (without help) and self harmed/abusive habits with eating to cope with my issues. I stopped needing support workers/mental health workers last year not long after I met my wonderfully loving husband. I fell pregnant with our daughter, shortly after we started seeing eachother and it's been all a bit of a whirlwind. I don't regret marrying him or having my daughter, I don't know where I would be now without my family. I recovered throughout my pregnancy, and throughout my pregnancy I was incredibly positive and strong. I'm not sure whether it's due to hormones or the sleep deprivation but I know I've been getting really anxious recently. I'm a full time stay at home mum at the minute with very little family support, hubby works ridiculous hours to support us all and I just feel a bit lost. I never have any time to myself anymore and it's driving me a bit crazy. I love my family dearly but I feel less and less like myself and as if the identity of a mother/wife is all I am. My anxiety is causing me minor problems in our marriage, I've tried to seek help from my GP/Health visitor but they've been terrible and not very knowledgeable about anxiety. I'm trying my very best to stay strong for my family. I feel really lonely because most of the mum and baby groups I go to, the mothers see me more young (majority are 30+) and I feel a bit left out. I know my anxiety is creeping back and it's terrifying me. This is meant to be the happiest time of my life but with my husband working such long hours and the mum and baby groups just make me feel more isolated sometimes. I'm probably just being paranoid, but I keep thinking nobody likes me. I'm loosing all the confidence and strength I built last year and it's heartbreaking. I need more help but nobody takes me seriously enough when I speak to them about it.

Thank you, sorry for the long post.

[dandelionsandfairies]

Hi Epic, thank you for replying.

My main problem I'm finding is that other people my age without kids don't really want to be around me anymore. All my old friends went to university (I fell pregnant in college) and even the ones that are local to me have no understanding of being a mum at all, and just shut me out because of it. I have one mate, a gay bloke in his 40s but that's pretty much it. Some of the Mum friends just seem quite cliquey and whilst I appreciate the company, I don't feel like I fit in, at all. If I have a one on one conversation with them, I feel like I'm being spoken to like a child, which is frustrating. My age is brought up so many times in conversation, when I feel like saying, I'm in the exact same boat as you. ��

My anxiety is making an appearance, I keep getting paranoid about my husband looking at other women and **** for example when really I know he would never dare, and it's just my own insecurities and lack of self esteem winding myself up.

It's more and more difficult to try and find friends my own age that aren't mothers because all of them seem to just want to go out partying and honestly that's not my scene anymore. I feel like I'm in an inbetween land. I've tried to reach out to old friends, but they're not interested and I've tried to reach out to other Mum friends but they just look at me like I'm twelve and have had about the life experience of a baby moth.

I will try and pester my GP more, but like I said my surgery is absolutely awful because it's so understaffed.

Thank you for replying. I appreciate it so much.

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