Every fall I start relapsing again and by winter I'm hospitalized.. Its been this way since for 4 years and each year seems to get worse and I'm feeling to happing again
Im holding back tears while typing this because I feel so utterly helpless because this it probably gonna be the rest of my life and all I do is waste my mom and step dad's money with hospitals .. it gets harder and harder to fight it.. I stopped following my meal plan from my dietitian a few months ago and a few weeks ago I just stopped having lunch on the weekdays. and right now, after making my usual breakfast, I just cant have this either.. Im going down hill so fast and it doesn't even feel about changing my weight because I know I cant. idek what im doing.. and I honestly just don't even want to on this world.. my mom doesn't know what to do with me anymore.. and by writing this is making me feel that relapse is the better answer because there pretty much isn't any hope recovered or relapsed..