Feeling like you must have lied/exaggerated/misled

[Eska]

I’m pretty good now. I don’t know why or what’s changed or whether it was just that it got it out of my system.

[one_step_closer]

I hope things keep getting better and better. You have fought so hard.

[Stellata]

So glad to hear that.

[Eska]

Thank you both.

It’s kind of disconcerting, suddenly feeling fine again. I don’t understand.

I’m back in work tomorrow, too, that’s going to be strange.

[Stellata]

How long have you been off work?

[Eska]

I’ve been on annual leave this past week, and was off every day except Friday of the week before that because I was in (general) hospital. So I’ve worked one day in the last two weeks.

[Stellata]

With so much that has happened, it will feel a bit strange to begin with, but I'm sure you'll soon settle back in. I know it took me a little while whenever I'd been off sick.

[one_step_closer]

I hope you're doing ok. Remember to ask for support if you need it.

[Eska]

Thank you both.

I am doing ok. I have an appointment with occupational health on the 17th of April. Work wasn’t bad, though there is a bit of a backlog of appointments to clear and I have a headache now.

I still haven’t properly spoken to my parents, or made real plans to see them. I know I should.

[Stellata]

Can you get some rest this evening? Glad work wasn't bad, and that you'll be seeing Occ Health.

One thing at a time...

[one_step_closer]

Take things as slowly as you need to, if that's possible. You are amazing.

[Eska]

Thank you both. I did get some rest the other evening, and yesterday was a pretty good day generally. I'm back on top of work, which is helping.

Lindsay, I am definitely not amazing! Thank you though <3

I haven't heard anything from the mental health team, which doesn't surprise me but I think will make it harder to trust/rely on/have faith in them in the future. I guess I hoped services down here would be more on it, but apparently not.

[Stellata]

I'm glad you got some rest and had a good day, and that you're getting on top of work.

Sometimes you just have to keep bugging the mental health team...

[Eska]

I don't feel like I should keep bugging them because 1. If it was that important they would have been in touch, 2. I'm doing fine now so it was just a blip and history suggests that now I will be ok for the next however many months, 3. I honestly don't know what they could offer, and 4. I know they are already overstretched and don't want to take up resources that could go to someone who is struggling.

[Stellata]

Ok.
Just from my own experience I had to bug them every time to get my MH4 letter [report of appointment]!

[Eska]

Update: I had a letter today giving me an appointment with the psychiatrist towards the end of May.

[one_step_closer]

Does that suit you?

[Eska]

I think so. Things have settled down now so there's no need for them to see me sooner.

[one_step_closer]

That's good. Will you be seeing other professionals in the time between now and your appointment just to keep an eye on things?

[Eska]

Nope, no other support.

I'm hoping that it will be like the usual pattern where I'm fine for months at a time, although I don't know whether that will hold true now I am living on my own.

I don't know what he will do/say when I do see him... At my appointment last week he mentioned that we might look at taking me off some of my meds at some point so I'm kind of preparing myself for that as an idea. Beyond that I don't know, I guess it will depend how things have been going.